Workin' on the OTHER End

911 !

2009-01-05T18:04:00.000-08:00

Searcher called me at work today, twice in a row. Usually when I'm with pts, I ignore calls, but after the second call, I excused myself to see what was wrong. She'd been calling Hubby and me. Transformer "in back of the house" blew and caused a small fire in a tree. She said there were no more flames, but the leaves were still glowing and the transformer was still arcing and sparking. I hung up, dialed 911 and explained this to the fire dept. They praised me for calling as all is dry again, and it wouldn't take much to have the entire line of trees,lawns, and perhaps houses go up in smoke. They sent a truck out immediately and left me to call FPL. They have a miserable automated voice system that leaves no room for "press __ for emergencies," so I suggested this to the live person I finally had answer the call. She seemed disinterested, so now I'll email corporate and the PSC. I truly abhor lousy service, especially where it counts.

I then tried Hubby's cell twice: no answer. So I called the office and asked receptionist if he was out. No, she connected me to his desk, and sweetly as you please, I heard, "Hubby, May I help you?" I told him of our efforts to reach him by cell, so while we chatted he checked his phone. "Six missed calls??!!" I told him not to worry, I'd already called 911 and the FD was on the way to the house. "WHAT??!!" I quickly relieved his fears, but suggested he might want to go home and move the boat. It's not much, but it still runs! Later, I called him for an update. Searcher was a bit incorrect in saying where the transformer was; it was actually next door, but still cause for concern. A power line melted and went down as well. Bottom line, nobody's house went up in flames, and while the power was out for 4 hours (obviously, FPL did not find this an emergency), Searcher was sleeping and we were at work, so it didn't inconvenience anyone.

And that's all there is to report on this end!

Boat Trip Today

2009-01-03T18:36:00.000-08:00

or...don't go out on a holiday weekend.

Yesterday, Hubby prepared the boat and food for us to go out on the boat this morning. I set the alarm for 6, but was up in the night - a LOT - thanks to the animals. First, the cat started doing his primordial meowing, followed by a painful yelp from Molly. Max bit and clawed her. My most oft-quoted line from Steel Magnolias refers to the cat: "He is evil and should be destroyed." A couple hours later, I heard collars jiggling and went to check it out. The pungent odor of dog poo welcomed me in the main bathroom. Molly had diarrhea all over the place. Earlier, she had eaten a package of German's baking chocolate. Since she's a good size, I decided this was not enough to kill her, and I was right. I'm really glad the dogs were not in their crate; it would have been all over both of them. This way, I cleaned the floor, sanitized it and my hands, and went back to bed. Woke up half hour later thinking something was wrong, but all was well. When the alarm went off at 6, I bolted out of bed to find and clean whatever else was messed up; this time, a large urine puddle in the bathroom. I cleaned that up, and by then, Hubby was awake. He looked at me and could tell I hadn't slept well, so we compromised: I went back to bed til 10, we went to First Watch for brunch, then came home and took the boat out around 2. We decided to stay around the river and not to Boca Grande pass or the Gulf since it was late.

Hubby noticed that the steering was quite stiff on the boat. I was glad I don't steer; he was really yanking at the wheel at times. As we went down river toward the Gulf, there were literally dozens of boats coming at us returning up river. They had left earlier in the day and were going home. There's a place in the Caloosahatchee called the "miserable mile" by local boaters. Here, the river is at it's narrowest, there is a spoil island just off the channel, and all are to be on their best behavior and drive at slow speed. Problem is, there are always folks who either don't know the waterways, or just don't care. Rent the Disney movie The Boatniks for an idea of what it can be like. Miserable.

We stopped just Gulfside of the Cape Coral bridge and fished about a half hour with shrimp. Didn't get a nibble. Pulled up stakes to go elsewhere, with no bait lost, which is extremely rare. Usually there are hungry catfish to steal bait, at the least. We continued down river ("here's the determined salmon, swimming upriver") and crossed over to fish near some mangroves, but the water became too shallow and we turned around. Meanwhile, we had noticed misting, or early fog beginning to settle over the water. Hubby has boated in fog, and it's not his favorite thing to do, especially without appropriate lighting, so we headed upriver for home. I was white-knuckled with teeth clenched as speeding boaters zoomed around us in no-wake zones. Hubby was quite concerned when a huge yacht came flying up behind us; he took evasive maneuvers to get away from him, but the guy seemed to deliberately closely tail us for a few minutes. I figured he wanted to hurt his boat less than we did. It probably cost more than our house. Back in the day when housing prices were normal.

We got home safely, trailered the boat without a hitch (pardon the pun), came home and ate our picnic here. We'd crated the dogs while we were out, and they made no messes. Whew!

Hubby said "Lesson learned: don't go out on a holiday weekend." He also says the worst thing about boating are the boaters.

~~shimfee

"Tropical Storm Threatens West Florida"

2007-06-01T18:06:00.000-07:00

So reads the headline on comcast.net But don't worry. This is a huge blessing. We SO need the rain. It will replenish aquifers, wells, parched ground and hopefully extinguish the 200 wildfires that have been reported in the State. We're so dry, that there is fire burning in the muck inside Lake Okeechobee. Here's a bit on that from www.wikipedia.com "Lake Okeechobee, (IPA: /okɪtʃobi/) locally referred to as Lake O, The Big Lake, or simply The Lake is a freshwater lake in the U.S. state of Florida. It is the fourth largest lake completely within the United States. ^[1] Okeechobee covers 730 square miles (1,890 km²) and is relatively shallow, with an average depth of only 9 feet (3 m)." I can tell you that water managers prefer a depth of around 11-12 ft., since water from the lake is used for some folks' drinking supply. Right now, the lake is at its' second lowest on record.
Yay, rain!!!!
~~me

A loooong day

2007-05-30T17:47:00.000-07:00

When I originally started this blog, I thought I'd write about past and current patients. If you put the blogs of all the interesting ones together, you could make a book. Somehow, it became more of my family and the "Girls." (Molly, by the way, rolled in eau de dead bird last week. Lovely. Necessitated a late-night bath. We both hated it.) Tonight I'll write about a patient.

I was called to clinic at 11:15. Seems there was a patient acting strangely, and some of my staff thought perhaps he ought to be informed that we couldn't help him. I decided to try some of my kindness, since at times, there are a few of my staff who can over-react and/or exaggerate.

Sitting in the interview was a tall, thin black male with a scarf on his head, the type that hugs the head tightly and ties in the back. He was completing his history. I asked him if he was ready for me to take care of him. No answer. I repeated the question. He looked up, finally, and shook his head "no." I told him to open the door when he was finished.

I thought this may require extra safety, so I asked the deputy to come nearer to the clinic area and be alert, where he couldn't be seen, but come quickly if needed. I finally had the pt. come to the exam room, and the next hour consisted of me s-l-o-w-l-y completing his exam and treating his affliction. Suffice to say that he exhibited obvious signs of obsessive-compulsive disorder (it took him 15 minutes to adjust his shirts in prep to leave the exam room) and paranoia, and there may have been other problems as well; I suspect schizophrenia; he spoke of someone breaking into his home and putting a cream on his penis that changed its' color (color was normal.) This was a poor dude. Took me an hour to do what would have taken 5 minutes on a "normal" patient. And afterward, I was exhausted. He told me several times that "he was angry" because I "hadn't allowed him to finish." He would explain something and take a long pause, I thought he was through and would answer. I almost wish we had walkie-talkies, so he could say "over" and I'd know I could answer. That was the longest hour in years. I felt exhausted after that. However.....

.....I had to later do a "formal counseling" session with an employee who has found it ok to speak rudely and loudly to her supervisor. Not with me. Naturally, she thought this was our fault and mentioned a grievance. I told her to do what she had to do and dismissed her. Such is the life of management.

Well, Searcher just came home from "Iguana Mia." She and Ripped turned 20 today! They all went to the restaurant to have dinner with their friends, and the twins ate free. Nice.

G'night, y'all. Gotta do it all again tomorrow, but I hope not like today!

Later.

REAL sadness

2007-05-24T17:45:00.000-07:00

For those of you who have had the pleasure of waking up to t.v. news and weather in southwest fl, i have some sad news: Jim Syoen, the best weatherman ever, is leaving nbc-2. No reason stated. I sure hope he wasn't fired. He was not the usual staid guy, not at all. And he's always voted "best weatherman" in our local paper. I don't know why he's leaving, but it's time for me to either stop watching the morning local news, or switch stations.

Sad day.

ssssssmokin'!

2007-05-24T14:10:00.000-07:00

Received at work today:

The wild fire situation in Florida continues to worsen going into the weekend. Red Flag warnings, brisk easterly winds and lightning-producing thunderstorms will combine to bring smoky conditions and increasing fire threat to much of the state. There are currently 208 active fires burning 192,593 acres in the state and conditions may rapidly deteriorate around any of the Florida and/or Georgia fire complexes. The drought also continues unabated in the state and will continue to hamper firefighting efforts. Currently there is no need to change holiday weekend plans, but, this is a good opportunity to make sure your emergency contact and staffing information is current.

Yes, we've had several wildfires in our area, and the sky is often gray with smoke, and of course, that makes a lovely fragrance (insert sarcasm here.)

We need rain badly.

~~me

OK, where was I?

2007-05-03T16:16:00.000-07:00

Much has happened since April 1st. Let me think. My Mom (bless her soul) treated my sister and I to a cruise. We went on Voyager of the Seas and took the Western Caribbean route. Let me digress by saying that I pronounce Caribbean with the strong emphasis on the second syllable; all other syllables receive little emphasis. Come on, think Lauren Bacall a few years ago, that husky, throaty voice saying, "You've got a little Royal Caribbean coming!" That's how she pronounced it, so it must be right.
Anyway, we had a great time. It was a perfect first cruise for my sister. Mom and Dad have cruised 16 times on RC alone, and many times on other cruiseslines. Yes, they were quite the gallavanters. And I could write blog after blog on their escapades alone.
My sister, Deb, didn't seem too excited about the whole thing until she saw the ships. If you come out of the Port of Miami, there is a point where you're downtown amidst tall buildings, then you go over a bridge, and suddenly - there are the huge cruise ships. It is quite impressive. Deb had a great time. We wend snorkeling, her first time, in Grand Cayman. We figured out how to do it on the cheap. On the way back from Cozumel (one of our four stops: Labadee, Haiti; Ocho Rios, Jamaica; Grand Cayman Island) we (the captain and staff) found two life boats floating, so we checked them out. They were empty, so the guys deflated them and brought them aboard, so as not to confuse the next cruise ship. About 30 minutes later (and this is not too far from Cuba) we were stopped dead-in-the-water again when we came upon an inverted catamaran. It looked so small from our 6th-deck room, but turned out to be a 35 footer. The passengers were all curious about a possible relationship between that and the empty lifeboats. Face it, they were agog! When I got home, I found this on a google search: http://www.military.com/features/0,15240,132022,00.html Check it out.

One week after I got home, I had to go to Orlando for a State nursing director's conference. I thought it was going to be boring, but it really was pretty good. I was glad to get home, though, and stay here until.........

.......next week, when my Mom and I travel to MD by car, leaving May 11th. We are taking her border collie, Shadow. She is a great dog. Mom has trained her to be a certified therapy dog, and she really helped take care of Dad.

In between, Dreamer graduated from FSU last Saturday with a Bachelor's in Early Childhood Education and a minor in Japanese. Go figure. Her hubby, who I have finally named Bear, is already seeking employment here, and Dreamer has applied at our local school board. Pray hard! They want to live here, and we'd love them to. We enjoy them. The graduation was well-organized, and we had fun spending time with the kids.

Ripped is engaged (as faithful readers know - all two of you!) to be married May 17th, 2008. I have spoken with him about making sure he won't be plum broke, my only concern. Sweetness is definitely the right girl for him, and we love her dearly.

And.......blow the trumpet!.......Searcher landed that job at the Sheriff's Dept.!!!!! She looks so cool in her uniform. And the stories she tells..... I just laugh and laugh. Today is her first day with a Field Training Officer, so I can't wait to hear how that went.

OK, you're all caught up.

Later!

Big Saturday

2007-04-01T18:46:00.000-07:00

Hubby the Knifemaker had an order for eight knives. All finished, we drove to Port Charlotte to deliver them while a gun show was in progress. (Ah! The American Gun Show. No blending of colors here. All white males and females. Plenty of Good Ol' Boys. Interesting.) We delivered the knives, then he took me to Placida and El Jobean. Yes, these are real towns in FL. We ate lunch in Placida at a restaurant called The Fishery, overlooking beautiful blue water beyond the mangroves. And a kitty crawling around the mangroves. Food was good, company awesome. After that, we came home, cleaned up our little, old boat (these adjectives are to be taken in the literal sense) and cleaned up ourselves in time to go to Mom's, who fed us crabcakes for dinner. Yum! Real lump crabmeat. No shredded stuff here, and hardly any filler. We're from Maryland, after all! Then we came home, Hubby finished up on the boat, and I was reading Frank Peretti's Monster, which I just finished. I highly recommend this book; a great read. Would make a good movie, I think.
Ripped is home early tonight; don't know why. Sometimes a lightbulb goes on in his head which causes him to realize that he needs more sleep.
Searcher is still in Tally, will come home tomorrow. Send up a prayer for safe travel.
This Saturday, I leave on a one-week cruise to the Western Caribbean, a treat from my Mom. My sister's coming, too - her first one. I'm sure we'll have lots of fun, and don't worry - we won't fall off the balcony in a drunken stupor!
Later!

Travel Mercies

2007-03-30T19:08:00.000-07:00

Ripped was driving himself, Searcher and 3 other Chick-Fil-A workers to Busch Gardens in our van a few weeks ago. I told him to take our van instead of the Taurus, as it had just been serviced. They were part of a caravan of employees being treated by their boss at the Cypress Lake store to a day at the park, including an annual passport.
Naturally, since I told him to take the van, a tire blew out while he was doing 70 on I-75. He was able to hold control and pulled into the center median (he had been in the left lane). The entire caravan stopped, drawing the attention of a member of the FHP. He sent the caravan ahead and radioed for road service. The kids were back on their way in 20 minutes.
Hubby took the tire out of the back of the van. A good 1/5th was just gone, as if the tire had exploded from the inside. I took a photo with my cellphone and sent it to Ripped's phone. He texted back, "Admit it, I'm good!" meaning that he hadn't lost control of the car. This Mama texted back: "No, GOD is good! Did you think your Mom wasn't praying for you to have safe travel to and from the park? This is called "travel mercies." " I wanted to remind him who to thank.
A humorous end-note: Hubby walked into O-K Tire the next Monday, toting the wrecked tire with two fingers in the wound. Some guys looked up at him and he said, "Hey, Guys, I need this flat fixed!" He got quite a chuckle.
Later!

A Drop of Cat Pee in the Middle of the Desert.....

2007-03-14T18:31:00.000-07:00

Dreamer once told me that my nose is so sensitive to the smell of cat urine that I could smell a drop of cat pee in the middle of the desert. So imagine my consternation (and that's putting it mildly, expletives deleted) when, as my last act of dressing this morning before I went out the door, I opened my closet to get my shoes and smelled......well, it reeked of cat urine. (May I digress - I am SO glad that dog urine does not smell like this. I would probably never have a dog!) I had no time to worry about it right then, so tonight, I came home, took out shoes, dumped the ones I never wore anyway, Hubby washed some, then I bleached the floor. The puddle was obvious.

Hubby just came to report that the cat had also peed on his side of the closet, so now we think he may have a bladder infection. That's only fair. Why should Hubby and I be the only ones racking up medical bills?

And strangely enough, my former vet, who has known our family since I was pregnant with Dreamer in '84, called tonight! My Mom had made them an afghan a few years back and she wondered if she could take it with her on her retirement. I told her that Mom made if for HER. Take it, enjoy, machine washable, etc. It was so nice to hear from her . She is very much enjoying her retirement. She and her hubby were the best vets ever. They started in our town fresh out of college, working with an established vet; then moved out to a rural community 17 miles away (we followed) and later to another storefront clinic 4 miles further out (we followed again. Hey! Maybe they were trying to get away from us!!!) Anyway, they were awesome through the years. Greatly missed, especially since it's now time for Molly and Honey to have their annual checkups. *sigh* I miss the old days.

I'm sleepy. G'night!

Good Golly, Miss Molly!!!

2007-03-06T15:34:00.000-08:00

Searcher called me at work today to say that Molly came in from outside a "different dog." Oh, my, I thought, she finally found a snake in that patch of night-blooming cereus and it's bitten her and she's gone off her nut. I asked Searcher how she was behaving, and that's when the situation was clarified: she went outside to play, and returned several shades darker. Was quite filthy. I came home from work to find that this was no exaggeration. So Molly just had another bath. A dirty pup can't share Mama's bed. We have a detachable shower head with hose, quite handy for dog washing. I must say that I have never seen the water look so gray as it ran down the tub. She was absolutely filthy. I could have potted a small plant with the lost dirt. So of course, she is now running around the house like a moron to dry off. I won't let her outside again til she's good and dry.

In other news, I already think I mentioned the promotion to Asst. Community Health Nursing Director. Tomorrow, THE WORLD!!!! DUN-DUN-DUN!!!! (evil "i will take over the world" music) Well, at least I can't do any worse than current world leaders, and much better than Kim Il-Sung. Ripped just got a $3/hour raise, no small feat for a 19 y.o. My kids have their parents' work ethic! Yay! Searcher is, hopefully, one small step away from a job at the local sheriffs' office (a good thing before she gets accidentally killed at the small italian restaurant where she works - owned by Brazilians, food cooked by Mexicans - go figure). Dreamer graduates at the end of April, and since the program that she and her husband were going to sign with for the Japan trip is in some kind of trouble over there, they will come home, set up house, and make babies. But first, some money!!! I am eager to hold grandbabies. From Dreamer, not the twins.

Hubby has found out that his neck is screwed from prior surgeries. Options were more surgery (????), physical therapy, or do nothing and suffer. He chose P.T. So far, it's helping and he's actually gaining a little strength, a good thing. He's had such muscle wastage in his hands and arms, and not from underuse! It's all nerve damage from the neck.

My health is stable, yay. I just ate an onion sandwich. Mmmm. Onions are good for you.

Today, my health director was yelled at on the phone by a local bombastic ass of a physician, and she hung up on him. Go, her!!! He's had a miserable reputation for years, and I don't know how he still gets to practice. He creates drama, yells at everyone, and says it's all for the patients. Well, no other doctors here do that, and they take good care of their pts., so he's just an ass. I almost cheered when she hung up the phone.

I am taking ICS training this week, then moving from my comfy east-side office to central. My east-side office was well set-up by me in '05, and the staff is more than lovely. I shall miss our little clinic. The downside of promotion. But I'll still see them from time to time. And I leave the clinic management there in good hands.

Enough for one day. My hands hurt from typing. Probably not in a health position. I need a wrist-rest at home.

Bye!!!

A good thing.

2007-02-14T15:37:00.000-08:00

Well. There was a position for Assistant Community Health Director of Nurses that will become vacant next month. I applied, was interviewed yesterday, and found out after lunch that yes, I was selected for the position. It becomes effective on March 23, the day after the current employee retires.

When I first applied, I prayed "God, I'm applying. Whether or not I get this is up to You. I'm at peace either way." After the interview yesterday, I decided that I really wanted it, but felt like I screwed up the interview and wouldn't be chosen. When the director told me of her decision, I was pleased and calm. No clenched fist with elbow pumping air and saying "Yesssss!"

For the rest of the afternoon, I wondered, "What have I done?" I guess that's pretty normal.

I will have a lot of reading and program management to catch up on. But I know it won't be boring managing clinic, STD, Hepatitis and the ARNP's.

Wish me luck!

African Proverb

2007-02-13T15:30:00.000-08:00

"The world was not left to us by our parents, it was lent to us by our children."

work joke

2007-02-01T17:16:00.000-08:00

A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and asks,
"Bartender, got any specials today?"

Bartender answers, "Yes, as a matter of
Fact we have a new drink, invented by
A gynecologist patron of ours.

It's a mix of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer and Smirnoff Vodka."

The guy asks, "Good grief, what do you call that?"

The bartender replied, "It's a "Pabst Smir."

Dad said, "Beam me up, Jesus!"

2007-01-28T13:14:00.001-08:00

I am a most blessed woman, to have the parents and husband I've been given. My Dad was a spiritual anchor. Totally in Christ. An awesome, fun, loving man. He went Home to Jesus on Wednesday, January 24th at 12:10pm. His death was sort of expected, but sort of not. We tucked him in to bed on Monday night (he'd been bedbound for some time) and he went to sleep. Mom called me Tuesday morning at 6:30 to tell me he hadn't woken up yet. I went to the office to do a few things, then got to Mom's before noon. Dad was in a light coma. Sometime during the day, he was able to rouse enough to say "I love you." His last words. Not surprising, if you knew him! So basically, from broken body to eternal glory in 36 hours. Can't wait to join him!

New Years Resolutions

2007-01-01T13:59:00.000-08:00

Ok, listing these is a first, as an adult. If I don't keep any\all of them, just shoot me.

I resolve to spend more time in prayer with my husband.
I resolve to spend more time reading my Bible.
I resolve to be more like Christ, daily if only incrementally
I resolve to lose weight and exercise

I know the lose weight thing is on everybody's list, but now that it's posted in a public setting, I have you all to hold me accountable. All one of you. ;o)
This morning, the scale said 168.5. This is not outrageous on a 5'11" frame, but once I get over 145 or so, all of the rest lands on the torso. This makes clothes-wearing difficult, except for drawstring scrubs, which I wear a lot, thus the weight creeping up without my being as aware as if I were wearing "normal" clothes. My legs are weak from this lousy neurological thing already, and don't appreciate carrying around the extra weight, and I have a right hip prosthesis that also would like to carry less weight. So I really need to do this.

My other resolutions are even more important to my life. We all have a body and a soul. One day we will all die and only have our soul. I don't want to disappoint Jesus; he loves me so much and has done so much for me.

Feel free to ask me how it's going. And thank you!

Happy New Year,

~~me

Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!!

2007-01-01T06:25:00.000-08:00

Well, my kids just left to go back to Tallahassee. Dreamer and her Hubby, for whom I must designate a nickname, were with us since Christmas day. We've had a lovely week. I always enjoy having them here. Sometime next year they may be with us for several weeks, between their rent contract expiring on their apt. in Tally and leaving for Japan for a whole year!!! Since it's all about me, I should say that this sucks since I won't see them for that entire time, but if they don't go now before settling down and having kids, they won't go at all. So, go. I will get us each some decent web cameras, yes, the evil devices discussed on Oprah!!! My Mom couldn't believe we already have one in our home. I had to point out that all technology can be used for evil OR good. Hehheh.

For Christmas, I got my kids home for a week. And a new digital camera. And other neat stuff from my kids. Hubby took me to a very nice restaurant for our anniversary, but first sang romantic songs to me. He sings beautifully. So nice. Made me tear up. On Christmas night, the whole family bunched into my folks' mobile home to visit with Mom and Dad, including Sweetness, Ripped's fiancee!!!!! Yes, folks, he popped the question, and she said yes. They plan on a long engagement with a wedding in November 08. They'll still be young, but it's better than now, and will give them a chance to put some money in the bank.

Later, I shall post New Years' Resolutions, something I've never done before. Stay tuned! Or at least visit again later.

Later!

STD's and a Refrigerator

2006-12-08T19:50:00.000-08:00

For the last two days I have been at a local STD inservice. The instructor was Dr. John Toney from Tampa. I had the pleasure of being one of his students at what's called STD 5-Day Intensive in 1989. He is such an excellent teacher, and has a wealth of knowledge in his brain. He punctuates his talks with humor and has excellent powerpoints, and the whole thing ended with a pretty realistic take-off on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" with STD questions and answers. None of used "call a friend," but I would have called him! He is incredibly intelligent.

Our refrigerator arrived yesterday and Hubby and I installed it together tonight. I transferred the food from the old to the new and walked the old one to the door. Hubby had to trim a few inches from the upper cabinets above the fridge as the new one is taller (standard size is so much bigger than 26 years ago!!!!!), and he'll finish up tomorrow. Then he and I walked the old fridge out the door, and it rolled quite easily down the carport and driveway to the yard's edge, where the city will take it away later this week. I must confess to wanting to refer to it as "she." I am not given to anthropomorphizing, but this refrigerator was a gift from Hubby's parents in October 1978. "She" ran relentlessly since then, never had a hiccup or need for repair, keeping my family's food cold for these years. Although she hadn't broken down, Hubby and I thought it would be best to take advantage of the tax-free week in October and order a replacement, as she had started to make strange noises and drip a bit. It seemed strange to dump this faithful appliance like so much dirt. I hope she gets recycled into something useful.

Tomorrow, I think Searcher and I are going out to Sanibel to shop a little bit. It will be cool and crisp, a great day for it. You can find some unique items out there.

Later!!

Yes, I WOULD Like Cheese with My Whine

2006-12-06T17:26:00.000-08:00

So the last time I got a haircut, I found the most excellent beautician ever. She cut it just like I asked, chatted enough to be nice but wasn't nosy, and taught me how to style it myself!!! Found out she was just subbing at the First Choice I attended near my home and she worked at another one 11 miles away. I told her she was worth driving 11 miles for excellent technique and service. Yesterday, I called to check her hours. She said Mon and Wed 12-8 pm, blah blah. I blocked the rest out since they were working hours and told her I'd see her tomorrow night.

Tonight, I drove over the river, (sorry, no woods) and paid the toll ($1). I find her store, but she's not there. Yes, I'm told, she usually works Wed. 12-8. But not tonight. Whine!!! I went ahead and let someone else cut it since it was quite shaggy. Came out ok. I'll know better in the am after I wash and dry it.

Tomorrow and Friday I will be attending an STD conference. We're the kind of nurses who can talk about such things all morning, see the gross slides, and then go eat - no problem. Sometimes we even joke about needing to culture what drips out of our Wendy burger. Clinic humor.

Yesterday I took care of a pt. who was formerly employed in the worlds' oldest profession. She is always outrageous and funny. She handed me her cellphone complete with pics of her current partner naked in the bed. Alrighty then! Just when you think you've seen it all..... and I do.

Later!

Merry Christmas!

2006-12-05T18:07:00.000-08:00

Hubby's 50th!!!

2006-12-04T18:02:00.000-08:00

First, I was able to work in clinic all day today!!!! Yay to patient care, paperwork be damned! Speaking of which, I bought Hubby a card that says, "You know what they say about people who turn 50, don't you?" (open the card) DAMN!! (end of card) My warped brain found that amusing.
Hubby's Dad took us to the Outback tonight. I was so good. I had salmon, and didn't eat it all. Accompanied by steamed broccoli and salad. Then I blew it all on apple cobbler. *sigh* Weight loss/mainentance sucks. I need to lose 20 pounds, and doubt that will happen by Christmas.

Ripped called us on the way home from the restaurant. He locked himself out of his car at our church youth center and was breaking out in major hives, a condition he has had periodically since early childhood. It happens less frequently the older he gets. Hubby thought this was a set-up for some kind of surprise party, which he would despise, so he almost refused to go (I needed to get off my sore foot after all day clinic). Just then Searcher came home and went for her bro. I reassured Hubby that this was no joke. Poor Ripped. He hasn't had hives this badly in years. 50 of benadryl and off to bed. But first, he and sis sat at the couch trading cell phone songs. It's rare to see them sit and get along like this anymore. Everyone's off in different directions. I took a pic.

Also a pic from dinner. I'm pooped. Let's sleep!

The Decoratin's All Done

2006-12-03T16:07:00.000-08:00

Came home from church, cooked dinner, cleaned up and finished decorating, mostly. That's all day. Since I was born, my Mom has bought me a "special" ornament every year. When I got married, I had a good supply of whimsical ornaments to start my tree with. I've done the same for my kids. This year, an adorable ornament/bell frog found at the local Cracker Barrel.

Here's the tree, with a pic of the animated angel tree-top and the nativity. Usually, it's under the tree, but with new pups and a cat since last Christmas, I decided to place it on a lighted shelf of our entertainment unit.

~~me

Back from Orlando

2006-12-02T18:35:00.000-08:00

I was able to get Thursday off, and I went to Orlando with Hubby, who had to attend a conference. In spite of poor maps and instructions given, we were finally able to find the hotel, located inside Orlando airport, and figure out where to park. We arrived pretty much in time for lunch, and the conference started at 1. We ate pricey lunch food at McCoy's inside the hotel. At least it was tasty. Pulled pork sandwiches with sweet potato chips and cole slaw and a pickle. Gotta have the pickle, and I requested sliced onion on the sandwich as well. We were also served two lousy onion rings. Yuck. I took one bite and left the rest.

After Hubby went to the conference, I scouted the airport. They have a small food court, a Chili's and a Macaroni Grill. Also some shops. Universal Studios, Seaworld, Disney, etc. plus various independent stores. A hairbrush store. Sells nothing but hairbrushes. Bet that won't last long!

I bought a paperback and went back to the room. Enjoyed a nice, long bubble bath and was able to add more hot water without having to worry about saving some for anyone else. Luxury. Took a nice nap. Hubby got out of the meeting at 5 and I took him to Universal Studios Citywalk, expressly to eat at Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville. If you ever get a chance to go, they have the most awesome nachos you could ever put in your mouth. I couldn't wait to take Hubby. Unfortunately, he got a little nauseous at the table and couldn't eat much. Bummer. I had such a daydream in my mind of us wolfing these things together, and he agreeing how great they were. As it turned out, we were grateful to have a plastic bag to take back in the car with us. Fortunately, he never actually got sick, and felt better a bit later. That was Thursday.

Friday, he got out of the conf. at 3:30. I was napping again, having gotten sleepy after reading for so long. We were going to go out of the airport to the Disney park and eat there; you can park and eat at the various hotels without paying for a ticket. Since it was such a hassle getting in and out of the airport, with construction to boot, we decided to "stay in" and eat at Chili's. I wanted to try a drink called "Sex on the Beach," which I asked for. They didn't have the peach schnapps, a key ingredient. Oh, well. I decided on a hamburger and a Sam Adams. I wanted a good ol' hamburger, nothing fancy. They have one called the "Old Timer." In retrospect, I should have just asked for sex on the beach with an old timer. Hubby turns 50 on Monday! Heheheh. I amuse myself sometimes.

Hubby got back to the room and was plum exhausted. After the adventures in plumbing, and three 12 hour days this week, he was dead tired. He went to sleep shortly after 6:30 and slept around the clock. I awoke shortly before 7 (this morning) and got too awake to go back to sleep. I had thought of lying around and enjoying the room, breakfast, etc, then maybe going to the Disney park on the way home for lunch. Hubby just wanted to get home. He is such a home-body! Loves to be home. Good for me!!!!

We were home by noon, and began to decorate for Christmas, a week late. Usually done the day after Thanksgiving, but I still had the pin in my toe. Got 'er done quickly. I bought another artificial tree this year. We'd had real ones for some years, but I'm tired of the expense and needles. Hubby put this together (actually, just insert the three pieces). He though it looked terrible. Searcher and I got busy separating the branches and tips, and now it looks great. It's huge!!!! 7 ft and spreads across half of our walkable living room floor. I was able to get most of the lights on before exhaustion set in and decided to do the rest tomorrow. Will also try to work on the now 3rd annual Christmas newsletter tomorrow. Oh, such great hopes!

Will go to bed now. Busy day tomorrow!!

~~me

My Day Was NOTHING Compared to Searchers!

2006-11-29T02:58:00.000-08:00

I shall let her tell you in her own words:

Unexpected things...

HOLY CRAP!

What a day...wow.

Normal day, up at 9, shower, school, nap, then...I got an unexpected phone call from MICHELLE! YAAAAAAAY! She's in town from Orlando and asked if I was home and said she was on our street...dang. So that was cool, but I had to be at work in 5 minutes, so I decided to call my boss and tell her I'd be a little late cuz I haven't seen Michelle in probably a year. So we talked for about 30 minutes and I'm gonna meet her for lunch tomorrow at the mall.

Here's where it gets good...

I worked 4:45-close tonight. I trained Ryan again tonight and he left around 8:30. We had a table of 4 come in at around 8:40. They asked what time we closed and I said 9 and that they were fine. I recognized one of the girls from middle school. It was her, her sister, her brother, and her mom. So just at 9 we had a single guy come in and Marcos (my boss) decided we'd serve him even thought we just closed. I kinda started talking to the guy and sat down and we were talking about college and things like that when Dave told me to go over to his other table. So I went up there and the girl was like "HEEEEEEEEEY! DO YOU REMEMBER ME?!?" And I said yes and we talked for a few minutes and I made her family laugh and said it was good to see her and what not, then I went and sat back down with the man and continued our conversation. The family paid and were on their way out when I looked over at Dave and he looked really angry and went after them. They had a $50 order and didn't tip. He asked them if everything was ok and they said yes and he said "Well, there was no tip..." and they said it was because he was rude and they didn't like him and all this and he started going off on them. You guys don't know Dave, but he's a gay man at my job and is very manly, but has the attitude of a black woman, and this was a black family, so it clashed big time. Dave told them they should tip at least 15% and this and that and they got all mad and wow. Dave was yelling "bitch rah rah" and they were yelling "homo rah rah" and it was BAD. I was just sitting inside at the table next to the man talking and all I heard was yelling and I looked over and was like oh crap. On the counter we have mints, business cards, and toothpicks and they knocked all that stuff off the counter onto the ground then went outside the door and kicked over the ash tray thing and they were all still yelling back and forth at each other and my boss got their license plate number and the mom threw her spaghetti leftovers at Dave and it got all over him, the door, and inside the restaurant on the floor. Then things got even worse. The mom came up and swung at Dave and hit him in the head or something and he swung back and hit her in the eye and the girl I know got in on it and her brother kinda tried towards the end, but I saw Dave throw another swing and get in the door and lock it SO FAST lol. It was CRAZY! So, after he was inside they threw something hard at the door to break it, but it didn't break and they drove off in a hurry. A single cop got there about a minute later and started to look up their license plate number and then THEY CAME BACK! This time--they brought the daddy...and he was NOT happy. He barged in and was like "Where's the guy that hit my wife?!? WHERE IS HE!" and the family was like "Where is he Wendy...go get him" and I was in the awkward position and just thought "OK COP GET YOUR ARS IN HERE NOW!" lol. Then Dave came out and the guy got up in his face and was like "Why'd you hit my wife?!?" and he was like "She hit me first!" and they were yelling back and forth and Dave called him an idiot and walked away. Then the guy called him a coward and the cop FINALLY got inside and told the family to get out of the restaurant. Then they were all yelling at the cop outside and of course he called for back-up. We had about 4 more cop cars there in a matter of seconds. The cops had asked them for ID and they said "We ain't givin you no damned ID" and so they arrested the mom and dad. But wow...what a night. What a mess too. Whoo. I didn't get home til about 10:20. I've never seen anything like that in my life, and it was just so insane to me. The single guy was telling me about how he was from out of town and he had a daughter about my age that goes to UF and what not and I told him "Sir, I promise--this doesn't happen every day..." lol. He tipped Dave well. He saw EVERYTHING happen...and wow lol. Before he left he told me I was a very pretty young lady and he wished he was 20 years younger. I shook his hand and told him I hoped he'd come back again despite everything if he was in town again lol. So I came home and told my mom all about it. My dad's at another sleep study...ugh. Richard was already asleep so I couldn't tell him. I told Heather the story on the phone, then called Jamie and told her lol. That takes me to now and I'm STARVING, so I'm gonna go make some food for myself, at 11:35 at night, but oh well...

So ends her entry. What an evening she had! My day was just usual. Hubby had a sleep study last night; the bipap machine was set correctly so he actually slept well for 5 hours! Now we need this one at home set right so he can sleep here, too.

Later!

Not-So-Black Friday

2006-11-27T16:18:00.000-08:00

Didn't go out in the mess of shoppers at all. I've done that a time or two, mainly Toys-R-Us, when the favorite thing listed by one of the kids was on sale that day. It seems like the whole thing has gotten so much huger since then. Geeze! I went online and bought a new cordless phone from Best Buy for half price. Had no trouble parking and I was first in line.

Saturday, I saw an ad for stemless wine glasses for $1 each at Pier 1. Now, I am definitely not your Pier 1 kind of girl. Too fussy, usually, and pricey and smelly (weird scents and candles not good for asthmatics.) I went to their website to buy online, but they weren't available online, did I want to have them send an email when they might be available? I said yes, then called the local store and they had them. Hubby and I went to pick them up and were totally customer-serviced. Those ladies were Disney trained! A pleasant experience. The traffic wasn't horrible and parking was good. The glasses are a good deal, I think. Mom will like them. She said she gets into trouble with the stemmed glasses and goes through them too quickly. Maybe she fills them too much? j/k

Work was good today, got a lot of paperwork done and pt. follow-up stuff. Unfortunately, there is no way to have my foot elevated, so I have a lot of swelling tonight. I wonder when this stops? I'll be sure to ask Wed. when I get the other pin out.

Dreamer is sick. She saw an NP at the college health center who put her on two days' bedrest. Problem was, she couldn't get someone to cover for her at work. I warned her that she might be toast if she missed class for being too sick, only to have an instructor walk by her at the mall. She works in a kiosk in the middle of the hallway. And as if any student wouldn't bring it up as well. Finally, she was able to work out coverage. Plus, she needs the rest! Not standing for hours in a kiosk. Poor girl gets sick a lot. I think a Cat scan of the sinuses would be a good idea. I have had tons of polyps and problems, and if she's inherited this tendency, it would explain why she gets sinusitis/bronchitis so often. Plus, she's around little germ-mongers all day. Doesn't help.

Everyone else is status quo.

~~Later

"Other Than That, Mrs. Lincoln, How Did You Like the Play?"

2006-11-26T15:20:00.000-08:00

What a Thanksgiving. The best I can say is, all the food turned out great, and once again, although I place the stuffing in the bird before cooking on low all night and serving at 1pm, no one got sick. This is a pic right before Hubby took it from the pan to carve. That's the 23 pounder.

So I got up that am, and Hubby was in his "Stay off of your feet" mode since I've had swelling due to the toes. But there were things I had to do, and since I didn't do them the night before as usual, I got behind. We always borrow a table from the church to have one long enough; mine seats six, plus we sit that out buffet style, load all the food onto it, and eat at the church table. I always use a disposable seasonal tablecloth and the drapey part is the most-decorated. I have a tree outside that has the most beautiful variegated leave of gold, green, orange and yellow, and I arrange these down the center of the table and throw in a few pine cones. Add two candle sticks and pilgrim candles and you're all set. Here's the table from 2004.Anyway, the table was retrieved late (an hour before dinnertime!!!) and in the hustle of getting it decorated (Searcher didn't want to gather leaves for me) I didn't get the potatoes started in time and we waited for them to get done. Then when I went out to get the leaves, I tripped over the screw-hook used to anchor the dogs' leads, and went falling to the ground, thinking as I went that surely I was going to break an arm or wrist. But I fell on soft ground and only sprained the foot that had the surgery. Ow. Then 30 minutes before eating time, Searcher's friend called and asked if she could pick her up since she was out of gas. Lovely. She lives 20 minutes away if traffic is good. I told Searcher to tell her to call a cab and I'd pay. Ten minutes later she called and told me the price, which I knew, and she hadn't called the cab yet. She and Searcher decided to skip dinner with us and Searcher took her a huge plate of food later. Searcher says she's terribly shy and would have pretty much not liked sitting around the table with family anyway. Then one of Searcher's coworkers, from Mexico, has no family here and he was supposed to come. He plain just didn't show. Nice. On the good side, Ripped's girlfriend, Sweetness, came even though she was not feeling well. They ate here at 1 and at her house at 5. I told them that after they were married I expected them to take over the cookin'. The reason I did it every year was so Hubby and I didn't have to worry about whose house to go to. (Don't ask me why suddenly I have blue underlined type.)

Now, Hubby was awesome. Since my parents couldn't be here, I took them a lot of the leftovers for their turkey dinner, and while I was driving that around, he had most of the mess cleaned up!!!! What an awesome man. He truly wanted me off my feet. I did jump in and had him take a nap while I finished up, but there wasn't much to do. He even did the turkey roaster!!

In the evening, we had long-time good friends over for a couple hours. It was a lovely visit, but I forgot how tired I am the night of Thanksgiving. I usually just veg.

So that was the day. And for those of you still reading this, WAKE UP!!!! It's over.

Later.

Twas the Day Before Thanksgiving.........

2006-11-22T15:10:00.000-08:00

......and I was awakened from a sound sleep at 12:30am by my right 5th toe throbbing greatly. In case you don't know this, I can take a lot of pain. And Advil! Seriously, I was concerned to have such pain at this point, 4 weeks after surgery. My toe was red and swollen. I determined that I would walk in at my surgeons' first thing this morning. Doesn't hurt that this is where Ripped works. I was finally able to get back to sleep after 2am and 3 advil and a vicodin. Woke right up at 6 and told son I was coming in. He said I couldn't cause the doc was "stacked" with appts. I decided better today than the ER sometime this weekend. I arrived before 7, was worked in, and doc said my toe was infected. See? I'm not a stupid nurse practitioner! He had to pull the pin from that toe and started me on antibiotics, which I had filled and first dose in by 8:30am.

And it felt better, so I did some running around to prepare for tomorrow. Searcher's friend and another coworker are coming, so that's great. I'm so glad. I came home and made apple pie. By then the toe decided to REALLY hurt and the whole foot was numb and tingly, this I knew to be from swelling. I did too much. Hubby has taken over. He's doing the pumpkin pies. Here are pics of the apple all done, and the bottom layer of the pumpkin. A very old family recipe calls for a caramel-pecan layer on the bottom, below the pumpkin. How yummay!!!! My favorite pumpkin pie.

Now I am being forced off feet by kind Hubby. I'll get up in the am and the swelling will be down, and I'll do as little as possible for a Thanksgiving day, which is to say my foot will be painful and swollen again tomorrow night. Dare I mention black Friday? Actually, I can't think of anything I want or need Friday, so I might sleep in and skip the mad shopping. I usually do.

Y'all have a blessed Thanksgiving tomorrow!

~~me

Bummed.

2006-11-21T19:30:00.000-08:00

We have a 23lb. turkey and no company this year. Usuallly I have anywhere from 15-24. Over the years, some have died, etc. which has led to fewer numbers, as well as the fact that I have not added or reinvited some due to my not feeling well over the years. This year is especially depressing. Although my Dad is still alive, it will be the first time ever in my lifetime that he will not be at the table with me at Thanksgiving. He and Mom will have the holiday together. Mom has declined food brought to their house. She and Dad will have stuffed chicken. I will be so bummed. My twin Mexican-American brother, Jesse, and his family were maybe going to come, but they had a prior commitment to eat at his mother's. Bummed I remain.

I shall go through the litany of piemaking and shopping tomorrow, just for tradition. Gotta do something. I have major leftover plans for the remainining turkey; soup, divan, salad, sandwiches, giveaway, etc.

Too bad Dreamer and Hubby can't be here, but he has to work day after, and the 6 hour trip ain't worth it. Oh, well. I shall survive.

To add to the "by no means should I have company this year" is the remaining mess from the plumbing fiasco. Still stuff all over the kitchen. Hubby couldn't finish tonight. He ended up at Convenient Care for removal of a metal shaving from his eye. He was out of commission today. Says tomorrow he will finish all. Just in time to cook.

~~later

Showerage!

2006-11-20T19:28:00.001-08:00

Hubby has gotten the showers hooked up!!! That's the grand news here tonight. This after a long day at work.
On my way home from work, which isn't really on my way home, but hey, it's free food, and I get to see my folks!! Mom called me and said she had some home-made lentil soup for us. Yummy! And it's in the 50's, pretty cool for us. Hubby and I each had a big bowl, and mine was accompanied by a very hot onion. Yummay!
Afterward, I went to Kohl's. Ours opened a few days ago. I really liked it! They have some great prices. I bought a set of t.v. tray tables for 49.99, orig. 100.00. 25% off of Oneida cooking utensils. A nice turkey tablecloth on sale. And some Christmas gifts for my coworkers. A good night. On my way in, it started misting hard from the cold front passing over, and an old lady said to me, "Do I feel moisture?" I said yes, and she made some complaining remark. I yelled back over my shoulder, "At least it's not snow!!" No reply. She must like snow.
So home again. And another day blogged. If I'm not careful, this could become a habit!
~~me

Hello to Max, and Plumbing Woes Continue

2006-11-19T19:01:00.000-08:00

Did I ever introduce you to Max? After our cat Baby was euthanized last year, Hubby wanted to wait a while before getting another cat. Lasted about two weeks. Max is short for Maximus Decimus Aurelius, the lead character of Gladiator. Ripped named him. He's rather dog-like, playing fetch and eating everything. He wrestles with Molly and Honey and holds his own. He's pretty cool - for a cat!

Poor Hubby has been working so hard to get us replumbed. As of last night, we had toilet usage, first priority. We can now do laundry, run the dishwasher, and use the sinks in the bathrooms. Only thing left is the shower/bath. We have been going to our parents' houses for showers. This is the opposite of what happens after a hurricane. Then we have water, but no electricity.

Otherwise, not much else going on. I'm starting some Christmas shopping, and have turned thoughts to the annual Christmas letter. I can't believe Thanksgiving is so close, and my house is more of a wreck than usual due to the plumbing catastrophe.

This too shall pass. And here's a good pic of Searcher and Molly. Bye!

Bad Day in Plumbing Land

2006-11-18T16:30:00.000-08:00

My hubby awoke and went for a bike ride this morning. My toes and I stayed home. I woke up around 9 and turned on the t.v. for a weather update. Hubby walked in just then and said, "I need your help now. The cold water pipe broke and there's water all over the FL room." (A FL room is the same as a den or family room.) Oh, yeah, water, water, everywhere and not too much to drink. We woke Ripped, since this involved his adjoining bedroom, and he and Hubby got to work moving, mopping and cleaning. Ripped's best friend came over and helped, too; he happens to be a plumber. This happened to the hot water line last year and Hubby replumbed it himself with the guiding help of our 25-years plumber. Don't know why, buy my Hubby has an innate sense of fixing things like this, electical, etc. Quite the handy guy to be my spouse. Since my son doesn't show great interest in learning these things, I am hoping that if Dreamer and her Hubby settle here after Japan, he will have the sense to learn these things, too. We won't live forever. Dreamer's Hubby may know some of theses things already; he's smart.

My part was to go to Publix and get sodas, subs, etc. to feed the masses. The subs weren't ready in time, so I did some Thanksgiving dinner shopping while I waited. Now I only have a few things to pick up for the big day. I will have much housekeeping to do on Wednesday. The house is ripped up with the plumbing adventure. Everything had to come out of the FL room and Ripped's room. All of the stuff under the kitchen and bathroom sinks also had to go. It's all over the house. Glad I'm not having one of those huge dinners for 24 this year. I'd be freaking about now.

I went to my folks' house for a shower. My Dad is slowly going down the tubes. What a sucky way to die; slowly, by increments. He is so brave, and I know he impacts those who care for him even now, so not in vain to lie and wait for death. Every time I leave him may be my last; that's hard each time I say goodbye. I usually start to get a little teary when I lay my head on his chest for a bit, then suck it up and make a humorous comment to cover the pain. He already knows it's ok to go whenever, and how much I love him, so it's no good to puddle up every time I'm there. I always tell him I'll see him later, whether or not he goes Home before I see him here again. True, true.

So there's the adventure of the day, if not the fact that I have posted two days in a row! Woot!

Later.

Tozinpaine

2006-11-16T16:00:00.000-08:00

No, not a new drug. Just describes how I've felt since the repair of hammertoes Oct. 23rd. I currently have two pins shoved vertically through my right 4th and 5th toes. I get them out in 2 weeks!!! Yay me. The pain of walking, even in walking shoes (you can forget anything nice looking - too painful for ages) became so great that I finally had this done. Ain't that a pretty sight? I have spared you the "all day on my feet and it's fatter than a pregnant woman's" pic.

Work has been a bit difficult. We have too many practitioners now, so I'm doing more management than practice. Wasn't supposed to be this way, and y'all pray that it doesn't last long. I miss my girls!

Hubby is getting over being sick. Caught it from me, only mine became asthmatic bronchitis which is requiring a big dose of prednisone to clear. Lucy me!

Dreamer and Hubby will be home for Christmas. My hubby and I have the whole week off!!! Double yay.

Ripped is doing well at his job and has bought "THE ring" for his sweetie. They plan a long engagement, which is a good thing since he's 19! He's getting A's in school. Poor Dreamer! Graduating in April Magna Cum Laude. The "poor" part is that she's 1/10th of a grade point from Summa Cum Laude. Dang! I'm just happy she's graduating. I see so many messed-up kids. And she got married while both in school, and she's still accomplishing her goals. Thank you, birth control pills!!!! She and her hubby still plan to go to Japan for a year to teach. Keep working, birth control pills!!! No grandbabies in Japan where I can't get to them, please. I love my son-in-law. He is awesome. And smart as a whip! Someday, I shall have wicked smart grandchildren, some with brown hair, some with red. Cook, huh?

Searcher is finishing what will be her final semester of college for a while. Ya know, it's not for everybody. We support her totally. She is in process of applying for support staff position at local county sherriff's office. It's a great starter position with full bennies, and she can move up from there. Plus, when and if she chooses to return to school, they will pay all but books. Nice move! An old friend of mine works there in human resources and did her fingerprinting. An older officer asked her if she'd ever smoked pot. She said no. He puffed up and said, "We will be doing a lie detector test." Searcher raised one eybrow and replied, "Bring it on!" As much as she's tested us lately, she ain't stupid.

Thanksgiving will be quite different this year. It will be the first in my lifetime without my Dad at the table. He hasnt' died (yet), but is bedbound at home with Hospice. Last year, we propped him in a recliner at the end of the table. Next year, I expect he'll be feasting at the banquet table in thd sky. I am ready for him to go Home. He is miserable.

I keep thinking of things to write about, but then I forget. Our weather is fixing to get cool, finally. Will be in the low 40's this weekend. Yessir, El Niño is back. Means colder, wetter winters for us, and mild hurricaine seasons, much like the one just past. Eat that, global warming proponents. When El Niña is in the Pacific, look out for us. This past summer was much like the other 32 mild ones since I've lived here. 2004 and 2005 were aberrations. But I'll wait til next year and we always have the shutters handy.

Guess I´ll dry up for a while. I oughtta write about traffic lately. Til then, keep me in your prayers from 6Ñ30 ' 7 each morning as I try not to become dump truck fodder on my way to work.

Later!

Nah, still not dead.

2006-08-29T17:28:00.000-07:00

Hello, all three of you who read this! Sorry to have been away so long. I just felt un-blogworthy. Sometimes something will come up, and I'll think, I oughta blog that! But it slips away and I just catch up on email, check the news, and watch House. Which is not on tonight. Bummer! This is especially horrible since this may be my last night on earth. Check out this link: http://www.weather.com/maps/news/atlstorm5/gulfofmexicosatellite_large_animated.html
Yes, TS Ernesto is arriving tonight to make our lives somewhat miserable, but not as bad as it could be. Oh, we'll probably lose power for some time, since the local FP&L won't do the proper job of trimming trees and now we lose power when the cat farts. It is extremely humid these days, too. One minute out there, in the dark, and you're ready for another shower. Now on that link: See Lake Okeechobee in the lower third? Go left with your eyes and you'll see a little line, river shaped. No coincidence, that! It's the Caloosahatchee, located a mere 1/4 mile down the street. Hubbys Mom was born, lived, worked and died all within 2 miles of the river. No wonder Hubby doesn't want to move.
So that's what's new with us. Ripped is back home (he has a t-shirt that says, "Somebody call 911! 'Cause I'm Cut!"), still working all day and taking classes at night. His new bio instructor pronounced his name correctly last night, and when he congratulated her, she said "I remember your Mother." Dang! He put her on the phone with me after class and she really does! Said she remembers me because I'm so tall. Go figure. It wasn't my outstanding grades! They weren't.
My sis is here from AL. Staying with my folks in their mobile home throughout the storm. Alrighty then. They should be ok - they made it though cat. 2 Wilma last year. Barely.
Searcher is searching. Driving us nuts. Long, sad story. She signed up for more classes. We'll see how that turns out.
Dreamer and her hubby are well. This is her last year, and she's in the classroom with the little tykes teaching her heart out. They just love her, even though she's 6'2"!
At work, currently I am doing more administrative stuff (can you say, "Gag?") until we are able to open our new location in south of the county. It's going to be a while. I miss my patients!
OK, brain's dry. I'll be sure to write and let you know how the storm pans out. The county is still open tomorrow, which means I have to drive to work at the height of the storm. There is still a chance that they may close after all. Cross your fingers.
Bye!

Frisky!

2006-06-15T03:01:00.000-07:00

I have had a hip prosthesis since I was 25. I remember flying back and forth to Atlanta in 1994 for nurse practitioner training and being disappointed that my hip didn't set off the airport scanners. I am disappointed no more, not since 9/11.

A couple years ago, I flew to Atlanta for a colposcopy undate. Scanner went off. I was escorted to the side by a nice lady who scanned me with a wand. Of course, I told her about my hip and even offered to show her my scar. She said that wasn't necessary. Drat.

With the recent flying back forth to MD, I think I've had enough of this now. No more fun. Justa a bloody nuisance. At least the first time amused Searcher. Sunday, as we were leaving BWI, I set the scanner off. Unfortunately, all of the employees in my area were the type who treat people as cattle. No eye contact, no smiles, no personality. Ugh. And of all the luck, I am being cared for by a young lady in training. She is being shown how to do this in detail like I've never seen. Feels my underwires with the back of her hand. Feels my bra hooks. Has me unbuckle my belt. Evert the waistline of my pants. Even patted down my pubic area, the first time this has ever happened. I didn't mind any of this, I just wanted someone to treat me like a human. So when it was all done (they saved the pubic patting for last), I made eye contact with the girl and asked, "Would you like a cigarette?" She laughed. She really was a human!! She kindly declined and said she doesn't smoke.

And Searcher was mortified.

Yay, me!

Y'all have a good day.

Ya Never Know What's Going to Come Out of a Dog's Butt

2006-06-13T17:33:00.000-07:00

Hubby and I have noticed that Honey, our MinPin, has suddenly forgotten her house-training. I was away this weekend (my Aunt's funeral - another day, another blog) and he was quite fed up with picking up dog poo. I flew to MD on Friday with Searcher, and we returned home on Sunday. I built in a day of annual leave on Monday, thinking I might need to rest. Dang, I'm smart! Slept 12 hours between Sunday evening and Monday 10:30am. And I was home with the Girls all day.

Sure enough, Honey left me a deposit. I picked her up and cleaned up the mess while scolding in my harsh tones. Then I put her outside. A while later, she was ready to come back inside. I noticed a remainder hanging from her backside. I grabbed a tissue to dab this away, except it kept coming out! I pulled with tissue, and whatever it was kept coming out, and coming out! Mind you, this is an 8 pound MinPin!!!! Finally, it was out entirely, and I determined it to be an entire dryer sheet!!!! Dang! Not only was this weird and strangely amusing, but I pondered how lucky we were that it hadn't choked her going down, or twisted her intestines coming out. Lucky Pup! And she didn't seem bothered by the process at all. Just another day in dumb dogdom. I would really expect this of Molly; after all, Beagles are notorious for eating everything, having descended from the goat family.

Dogs. Gotta love 'em. Our outside working dog, a hound-Beagle mix named Trixie, was barking at around 11 pm. Searcher went outside to see what the deal was. When I went to see why Searcher left the house, there was an encounter going on next door. Here it is in Searcher's words, only I'm blanking out the foul language: Ok, so it's an average night. I'm online talkin to people and I hear my dog start barking. I'm like ugh, it's 11 at night what is she barking at?!? So I open the door and see no one and go back inside. Then she starts barking again and so I open the door and this time I walk outside with a freshly opened Butterfinger. Well, I hear yelling. Next door. I look over and there's a cop pointing a tazer gun at my neighbor dude. Dude's on his knees on the ground yelling, his wife's crying holding their baby and the cop's saying, "STAY ON THE GROUND!" And the guy's like "F___ YOU BITCH!" So the cop kept saying "DON'T MOVE! STAY ON THE GROUND!" And the other guy kept saying, "F___YOU!" And he got up and started walking towards the officer and he was like "DON'T MOVE!" And the guy was like "You don't have a tazer, you won't blah blah" and then the cop shot him lol. Mom had come outside by that point and was standing behind me. We heard the clicking noise of the tazer gun. I bit into my Butterfinger as mom and I hid in the darkness at home and she's like "What is this, a movie?!?" I swear, it's the weirdest thing I've ever seen! So, the guy I guess ended up laying on the ground and the cop alerted the people on his walkie talkie thing that he deployed the tazer lol. Then back up came. 2 more cop cars. The cop was like "So did it hurt?" and the guy was like "Yeah" and so when the back up got there I was like ok mom, show's over. She told me that they had a bad fight last week. His wife was screaming "I don't even know you anymore!" and stuff like that. It's really sad though cuz they have the little baby. This guy's a pothead anyway. He needs to be in jail after all this. Jackass. Poor wife. Poor baby. Stupid man. So that was our excitement. This is the guy I described in an earlier blog, smokes pot outside a lot. Not that pot smokers are all wife beaters! But this one is. He is in jail on DV and resisting arrest, and his bail is set for a total of $11,000.00. I feel so sorry for the wife and kid. When they moved in, I took them brownies, no thank you or hellos outside. They have stuck very much to themselves. Knowing what I know about the cycle of abuse, I think I'll go over tomorrow and see if the wife would like a cuppa tea or something. I see no other cars there, like family or friends for support. She must be very lonesome.

I'll write about Aunt Cath's memorial service and wake another night. Almost time for House!!

~~me

I Open My Mouth Twice a Day to Change Feet

2006-06-06T16:47:00.000-07:00

Ok. Ever since I was little (and that was a looooong time ago), I have been quite adept at saying the wrong thing. It's not that there is absolutely NO filter between my brain and mouth, it's just that the filter needs to be reset, I guess. This is never more amusing than at work. While reading the following, please keep in mind that I am an OB/GYN nurse practitioner.

When first licensed, and able to work on my own, I had a very busy, very long, very tiring day, complicated by having many obese, large-ginormously cystic-breasted women. These puppies take a long time to examine.

Allow me to digress a moment: readers (specifically women) are you checking your breasts for lumps once a month? Should be after your period. If you don't get one anymore, first, Congratulations! Ain't it nice not to have your period? :o) So check your puppies on the first day of each month. Let your monthly bill-paying be a reminder. And if you're 40 and over, get a mammogram every year. One of those can find a bad spot up to 10 years before you can feel it. And get a professional (come see me!) check your breasts once a year, more often if you have problems. If you think something is wrong and your NP or Doc gaffs you off, get a second opinion. Ok, I'm off the soapbox. Back to story.

My last patient of this horrible day was a sexually active 16 year old, first such exam. I was my usual put-them-at-ease self until the DUN-DUN-DUNNNNNNN! breast exam. I was weary and was sort of on remote control. This young lady had smooth tissued, B-cuppers. Absentmindedly, I said, "Nice breasts!" Well, you should have seen the look on her face. I thought she was gonna run out of the room in her paper drapes. So I start furiously back-peddling. "No, you don't understand......" and I explained my day and the reason for my comment. Still, she looked wary, at least. "Really," I said, "I'm not gay. I'm married and have three kids!" This calmed her enough to let me finish her exam. As you know, we work top to bottom, so to speak, so for her, the worst was yet to come.

Fast fwd. some years (don't forget, I've been working at the health department for 23 years). I am doing an exam on a lady I've known for quite a while, one of my favorites. She's a tiny, thin thing and the first patient I had seen who had had a laparoscopic gallbladder removal. I have an 8-inch incision from mine, which they reused when I gave my Dad a kidney, but that's another story. I get to the breast exam. I step back and ask her to raise her arms to be sure the breasts lift equally. Just then, I notice those tiny scars from her GB surgery and say, "Wow! You're so lucky!" She looked down, put her hands over her breasts and said "I always thought they were too small!" You know, she was in again today, and years later, we still laugh over that.

And the latest happened just last week. First know that when someone has their blood drawn, or any painful procedure, and gets fainty, more than likely they have an empty stomach and low blood sugar. We get them a soda and they perk up real nice-like. We keep some of the little 6-ounce sodas in the fridge for just such occasions. So this teenaged girl comes in for an STD check. Seems she and some friends rented a hotel in town and she "got stupid." I clarified; she used drugs. I already noticed that her pupils were so dilated that I truly couldn't tell what color her eyes were. Hmmmm. I asked her what drugs she did at the hotel. "A little coke, pot, and alchohol." Ok. I asked when she last used. "Oh, a while ago." Experience tells me this could be two months, weeks, days or even hours. So I asked "How long is that? Now, tell the truth. Your eyes are so dilated I can't tell what color they are." She said yesterday. So I asked her what she used. "A little coke, some pot, drank alcohol." We discussed drug counseling, which she seemed positive about. Or I could be hooked like a stupid fish, whatever. We do the referrals and pray hard. I finished her exam and I told her that next she would see the nurse and have her blood drawn for syphilis and HIV. She said, "Oh, I hope I don't faint." "Haven't you eaten today?" I queried. No, not all day, she said. So I told her that we'd get her something. She was eager for food (typical drug thing) and asked what we had. Without thinking, I said ............."A little coke." Her eyes got REAL wide, and the next second, I clarified, "NO, not THAT kind! Coca-cola!!! We have these little cans of coke!" Then we both had a good laugh. And I gave her that and the yogurt from my lunch. She didn't faint. Or report me for being an idiot.

Y'all have a pleasant evening.

Life Goes On.......

2006-06-05T20:00:00.000-07:00

My Aunt Cathy died Saturday morning at 2:45. I hadn't planned on flying back to MD for the memorial service, but her long-time partner called me twice with the arrangements. I decided to fly up (Searcher will come, too, paying most of her own ticket). I think he needs some support. Plus, we "Florida Family," as my Aunt called us, are sensible and not alcoholics. A plus for my Mom's side of the family. A MSW student could have a lot of fun with interviews of this group! Sum it up as "People Need the Lord."

So, life goes on.

We have a rule here that the puppies are not allowed to annoy us while we're eating. They do pretty well, especially when we're at the table, but we often eat watching t.v. The MSW student would scold!! Tonight, I had my bowl of yummies and made The Girls get down. I pushed the couch cushions to the middle and opposite end, to be out of my way. After a few minutes, without me noticing, Molly jumped up on the opposite end of the couch, burying herself under the pillows. I figured this out as she crawled under the pillows on her belly, like a reptile, and poked her head out on my end as if to say, "Whatcha eatin'?" I laughed, but did make her get down.

I fired someone Friday. Not the first time; I had fired someone in my first incarnation as a supervisor back in the early 90's. That was more cut-and-dried. This case was difficult. The person was almost at the end of their probationary period, and looking back, I didn't see improvement in several areas. Patients could be in danger, possibly. I did what I had to do, but it was difficult. The nsg. director was with me, did most of the talking, actually. We kept things broad and didn't formally document anything on her record, which will enhance her chances of getting employment in the future. We just weren't a good fit. It was a difficult decision, not made alone, not made lightly, and with full support of all upper management. But it still sucks.

My Dad continues to fail. He feels pretty bad now. One positive thing is Hospice providing him with Lidocaine patches. He applies these to his back and knees. If he were healthy, he would have had hip and knee replacements by now, but all docs figure he'd die on the table. These patches are really helping him, though. We thank God for small blessings. Dad would ask that you pray for him to go quickly. He's SO ready. Beam him up, Jesus! I'll cry like a baby, but not for his sake. It'll be pure selfishness. If everybody had a Dad like mine, the world would be nearly perfect.

Enough ruminating. Y'all have a good night.

2006-05-27T20:51:00.000-07:00

This is me on Christmas day when I was four. Cute, huh? Which leads to the question, what hapened???? ;o)

A Good Day

2006-05-26T13:15:00.000-07:00

Fridays are my day off, but I often go in to work for meetings, or schedule a procedure. Today was such a day. I had a patient come in at 8 for an IUD insert. Before she arrived, my Outlook reminded me that I had a dr's appt. at 10. Now, I remembered today was the appt., but for the life of me I thought it was at 3. Now I put myself 20+ miles away with the procedure to do, plus I had to stop at home to get records for the doc. The insert went well. Which reminds me: I have a theory about Latinas. They are so stoic. They are my favorite ladies for IUD inserts. Everybody else is a coin toss. Hmmm. After the procedure, I raced home, dug up the records, and zoomed to the dr. This was my first time seeing her, a new neurologist. I liked her. Her first name is the same as Searcher's. Plus, she's young, and it's nice to know that she'll outlive me. So many of the great docs here are retiring or dying! Change happens.

So I came home and paid the bills. One check I wrote was for the car insurance. Right now, we have 4 vehicles. The kids pay their own insurance. I wrote the check and put it in the envelope with the statement and decided to drop it by the office since I was driving by and the deadline loomed. Then I misplaced the envelope. While searching for it, I misplaced my car keys. Geeze! My new neurologist has a lot to take care of here! Found the keys; never have found the envelope. I just walked in and wrote another check. I need a keeper.

Went to the mall. I have nothing nice to wear for conferences, church, etc. This was made painfully apparent when I went to Orlando last week. I found a few nice things at Ann Taylor Loft - what a nice store! I'd never been there before. And they have sale racks!!!! I love those. Or the clothes on them.

Tonight Hubby and I are going out with our British friends for Thai food. Another new food experience. I'm looking forward to it, but Hubby is used to American, Italian and Mexican. I hope he finds something good.

Bye!

Still Not Dead

2006-05-23T17:13:00.000-07:00

No, I'm not dead yet! (One of my favorite Monty Python quotes). We arrived safely from MD. It was amazing to see how my aunt's cancer had progressed. When she was here in March, she had several lesions open on her neck; now all have coalesced into a gaping maw. Sorry, not a pretty picture, 'cause it ain't. Hospice keeps changing her meds to try and get her comfortable. Not sure, but I might be able to fly up at the end to be with her and J., her longterm b/f. He has taken such good care of her. Awesome.

The trip to Orlando was great. My friend from work and I made the trip together, and it was well worth it. I'm looking at Women's Health Care in a new light. One of the speakers pointed out that the health of our patients begins when they're in the womb of their Mom, which is true. And then we provide care from periods to menopause. And then they disappear. We want to look at the whole life of a woman, not just her childbearing years. So, I'm thinking, the public health system in FL needs to reprioritize $ to Primary Care. Nothing is more frustrating to me than finding a medical problem (HTN, diabetes, etc) and hoping they can get care someplace. Back in the day, I would walk the lady to "General Clinic" and she would be well-attended to. *sigh* I miss the old days.

No big change in kid land. Hubby doesn't need surgery, which is great, but they don't know what's wrong with him, which isn't. Neurology is such an interesting and frustrating field. Interesting to study or read about, frustrating to have problems with. Geeze, if I keep ending sentences in prepositions, the English police will be after me.

Speaking of English......and speaking in English, two years ago I precepted a nurse practitioner student from England. My first impression, looking at her sunny (not tan, disposition) face was, "We are going to be great friends!" And we are. Hubby and I went to their house for the first couples meeting, and Hubby and he got along spendidly! It's easy to lapse into British-speak when talking with or about them. It's so fun! I've learned a few new words (I'm learning English, why can't someone from another country who's lived here 12 years?). Did you know that "stroppy" is about the same thing as bitchy? Hehehe. And it's not a good thing to imitate Penfold from Dangermouse and say, "Cor, Chief!" Cor is the same as saying, "God!" without thinking about or talking to Him. One of the big ten.

Hubby has a new toy!!! A 50 caliber S&W. He is setting up to reload his own bullets, like in the old days. Melting lead outside in a small iron pot (wheel weights, spent bullets, etc). He'll also reuse his brass. The ready-made bullets are quite pricey. Yes, he has a new gun. This means I get jewelry! Except I really don't want anything right now. Maybe a nicer type of watch to wear to church and other-than-work places. My velcro $6 Wal-Mart watch is great for work, and an extra for boating and fishing.

Speaking of which, we haven't been out in ages. The motor is not "peeing" well enough, which means the cooling system needs to be cleaned out. And we need a new battery. I miss going out on the water. Such a soothing feeling, until Hubby has us flying 40mph over choppy water. Then it's just fun, usually. Sometimes it's annoying.

Anybody watch "House?" A new addiction for me. I swore last year that as my favorite t.v. shows were cancelled (JAG, Judging Amy, 7th Heaven, Joan of Arcadia) that I wouldn't start any new shows; I was watching too much t.v. Then the girls at work kept talking about "House." I kept avoiding it because I truly thought it was one of those "I'm decorating my neighbor's house, and they're doing mine" shows. Now I watch each Tuesday, and the reruns on Friday nights at 11 on USA network. I can sleep in on Saturdays!

I've chattered on quite long enough. Y'all have a great night. Oh, by the way, hurricane season starts next week. Gee, I can hardly wait! ;o)

~~me

Long Time, No Post!

2006-05-05T16:59:00.000-07:00

No, I'm not dead. Life has been pretty typical. Of newsworthy items: Dreamer and her Hubby are home for the week. We've done nothing but sit around, but that's what Dreamer wanted. Just completed the most difficult yet of her semesters. Finished with four A's, her own goal. I remember her calling me in April, crying, afraid she would get a B in one class and how would that look on her app for her masters? And she wants to graduate cum laude, or magna cum laude, or something like that. Dang, I just want her to graduate! And she will in due time. One more year. I've enjoyed having her home this time more than ever, and had to stifle tears when they drove off today to visit his parents. She is truly growing from daughter to friend, which is as it should be. Currently, they plan to go to Japan to teach for a year after she graduates. Exciting!

Ripped is at the Keys this weekend with his girlfriend and her family. They like him. Girlfriend is maybe close to saying she'll "go out" with him. He truly loves her; has for a couple of years now.

Searcher is done with school for now; undecided on whether to work full-time or continue school. Just to be safe, I filled out the FAFSA for her last night. Those things are a pain, but worth it since they pay for part of tuition. Pray for her to follow God's path and in all her ways to acknowledge Him. Her Grandma's favorite scripture!

Molly is about 22 pounds now. She and Honey still play and "fight" a lot, but no one gets hurt. With all of the bared teeth, I expect to see blood, but I guess they know just how far to go. They're part of the family. Love those critters.

Hubby had MRI of the neck and lower back several weeks ago. He's still waiting for the results and appt. with neurosurgeon. Geeze! This drives me nuts, since I used to work in a radiology dept. and know how quickly these things are processed; next day, at latest.

My Dad is still hanging in there. Amazing! He was given 6 months about a year and a half ago. My Mom takes real good care of him.

My Aunt in MD with terminal cancer is failing. Searcher and I are flying up to see her on Monday; we'll be back on Friday. It will be a sad week.

The Wed. after I get back, I have to go to Orlando for the Governor's Women's Health Conference. This is the first of its' kind, so it will be interesting. I just hate travel on top of travel. With CIDP, it's exhausting just to think about it.

Speaking of CIDP, no change. Later this month, on the 26th, I'll see a new neurologist who is local. Driving across the state or even 35 miles south (on our interstate, which is always plagued with wrecks caused by speeding dump trucks) has become a pain, and the great doc across the state is retiring next month, anyway. I hope the new local doc is ok. It's a female, with the same first name as Searcher. Maybe this will go better since I'm already diagnosed.

OK. There's life in our household, in a small nutshell!

Goodnight~

Shingles - But Not for the Roof.

2006-03-29T18:20:00.000-08:00

So have you heard about chirpes? It's a canarial disease. But it's tweetable.

Ah, STD humor, ar ar! Poor Ripped has had a rash on his shoulder blade and then chest for a few days. I first said shingles, which is Herpes Zoster, aka Herpes Type 1. If you've had chicken pox, you still carry the virus. It's lying in wait on a spinal nerve, watching for an opportunity to break out. It's pretty common in the elderly and immunosuppressed, which makes me wonder why Ripped has it. He's 18 and in excellent health, usually the healthiest one in the family. He lifts weights, eats healthier than the rest of us. Last time I saw an otherwise healthy young patient with shingles, it was caused by HIV. Ripped says, "My penis has been in its' pants!" Ah, the joys of raising Christian kids to be virginal til marriage! There is a lucky young woman somewhere who will snag him someday. But I digress. I thought all of this out and talked myself out of my diagnosis and twice told him to go to the walk-in clinic. He finally went after work today, and the diagnosis is...............*drumroll*.............Shingles!!! See, I can diagnose skin stuff! I still can't for the life of me figure out why he has it, except he was pretty stressed out last month. New job, changing classes around to suit new job hours, girl he loves saying the dreaded "LJBF." ("Let's Just Be Friends") So, yeah. Stressed, but how many other teens and adults are stressed moreso, and don't get shingles? Now this nurse practitioner-Mama wants him to go to the regular internist and get some blood work done. Make sure he doesn't have some odd reason for decreased immunity. Hope Ripped is not allergic to dogs! I'd really miss him.
Gotcha! Just joking. I seriously doubt he has HIV, but if he did, it would have to have been from the surgery he had at age 7. Abdominal surgery to repair the ureter, the tube connecting the kidney to the bladder. Otherwise, he has no risk for that. I'm definitely negative, and was when I had the twins, obviously. Hmmmm. Well, we'll have to figure this one out.

Meanwhile, Searcher took her first all-alone road trip to Tally to visit sister and brother-in-law during spring break. I think she just wanted to get away for a few days and jumped at the idea. I wasn't keen on her driving the interstate for six hours each way, but she survived, and even got lost on the way home! She was able to get herself back on track without calling for help. What a gal! I'm proud of her.

Dreamer got a 95 on a test this week, which is great news. She sets high standards for herself. Hubby and I have never been the type to expect straight A's from any of our kids, even when they're capable. We did expect them to work to the best of their ability, but never said "straight A's" Poor Dreamer has been on the Dean's list for forever, and was stressed out earlier when she got a C on a test. I should have done so well in college!!!! We are so proud of how well she's doing, but not until recently did I realize how stressed she was in thinking she may not be on the Dean's list for a semester, not graduate magna cum laude, and be rejected for a Master's program. My, how the mind does fly off when you're overtired, overworked, and overstressed! But that was last week. I think she'll sail through the rest of this semester.

I feel like I've typed my fingers off. The Girls (Molly and Honey) are fine.

See ya!

Hurry Up and Wait!

2006-03-24T15:40:00.000-08:00

I work in a tax-supported clinic providing Women's Health Care and STD exams and treatments (Yes!! I do exams on males, too and see many penises in a month! (but not on the same patient) Big whoop!). We charge our patients according to their income. Many fall into a "no pay" category. But at the highest charge, you can't beat our prices in comparison to private care, and NP's generally spend more time with patients per visit. Plus, if you're on birth control pills, you leave with a year's supply in your hands, provided you're not having any problems. Can't beat the deal. Sometimes, I get overbooked or add in patients with emergent (for us) problems, and I can run behind with the schedule. Overall, my patients don't seem to mind too much since they know me, and that they'll receive excellent care. There is an occasional patient who has their panties in a wad (not my fault!) and gripes and complains vociferously about the wait. There's a part of me that thinks, Hey! You're getting all of this for free!!! Shush! But I usually just empathize and apologize for running behind. (A good part of waiting has to do with the gov't.-reuqired paperwork - ugh!!!)

Today, I had an appt. with my internist. Just the annual requisite visit to get my meds ordered for the year. Except for the CIDP and well-controlled asthma (at the moment), I am well. My appt. was at 3:15. I was seen by the doc at 5:10. Granted, I have excellent health insurance, though there is a co-pay and I will pay the remainder that insurance doesn't. But I didn't groan and whine about waiting. I could tell Dr. Mac was having a busy day. Do ya think HE wanted to be out late on a Friday??? Doubt it.

So, if you are cared for by public servants who are less-than-punctual, be kind. We need it.

Have a great weekend!

Tattoo and Cat only MOSTLY Dead

2006-03-23T17:15:00.000-08:00

OK, so Twin A - I think I'll call her Searcher, whether she likes it or not, it just seems to suit her just now - has a tattoo. She asked me a few weeks ago about getting one. Thinking that a tattoo is a permanent sign of temporary stupidity, I tried to discourage her, at the same time realizing she's 18 and I really couldn't stop her. Here in this southern state, tattoo parlors are licensed and inspected. I asked my friend at work where she should go, and was given a recommendation. So Searcher lived through it, although she said it "hurt like a beast" and so did her parents. She chose a cross, and I actually went with her to the parlor. Seedy, just what you'd expect, with thousands of tattoos to sort through; they didn't have a "Christian" section; what a surprise! All of the crosses they had were so not what we were looking for, so Searcher took pen and paper and drew them one she used to draw in school. The guy scanned it and it is now on the lower left-hand side of Searcher's tummy. She said she will never regret having a cross.

Hubby went to a doc today, referred by his pain-mgmt. doc. Thought he had carpal tunnel. The word "carpal" has the letters c-r-a-p in it, which is what that diagnosis would be for Hubby. The new doc agreed that these problems are stemming from his neck. Poor guy has had two anterior and two posterior surgeries on his neck. He is losing actual muscle mass in the space between his index fingers and thumbs, as well as upper arms. And pain. So the new doc ordered an MRI of the neck and referred him to a neck surgeon. Again. But if they can fix the nerve compression that's leading to the muscle atrophy, then great. He'll be delighted. Stay tuned. By the way, he can still make knives, and he hugs real great, too! :o)

We have a black DSH cat named Baby. I found him in a socio-economically disadvantaged area of our town on my first home visit way back in 1993. He was a mess; tummy swollen from milk allergy, which was his only food, a piece of one ear chewed by dogs, and had been rolled by a car. He grew and was pretty healthy, save for allergies. How fair is that! A cat allergic to humans! Nah, we don't know what he's allergic to, but he sneezes a lot and gets runny eyes. A few years ago, he was accidentally injured while Dreamer and Twin B - hereafter known as Ripped, for that is what he aspires to be with his weightlifting and working out - were giving him a bath. Has had a bad knee since then, and Hubby would give him a baby (yes, I know, baby aspirin for Baby) aspirin every few days or so. Suddenly yesterday, he began to howl regularly in pain, and shake his head like a moron, or like his ear was bothering him. Off to the vet. He was seen by the husband of the wonderful lady vet I've written of earlier. We all thought he would need to be put down due to age, but there's a new arthritis med for kitties, and the ears were treatable, too!!! Yay! Long live the cat! Ripped is so happy. He cried so hard last night, thinking his Baby would be gone today. He really loves that cat; even slept on the kitchen floor with him all night last night. All's well that ends well.

Goodnight!

Judge Not!

2006-03-17T18:03:00.000-08:00

When we bought our house in 1981, the house next-door to the east was occupied by a sweet widowed lady. She has long since gone on to her Reward, and she left the house to her church, and then it was owned by a nice older gentleman who rented it out. We've had a variety of renters over the years; one couple to whom I delivered a Christmas plate of cookies (they kept the plate and moved out soon thereafter) and several other whole/broken families of caucasian persuasion (one young couple didn't realize that in the spring, everyone has their windows open, not just them; I was in Twin B's room talking one night when we were privy to the climactic sounds of passion. We just looked at each other and cracked up. What else can you do with a teenage son?). The neighbors who lived there longest, and were the nicest, were two Mexican families who shared this small 2 br home. Twin A became friends with the three daughters. The families went on to buy their own homes, and the house went up for sale late last year. A young yuppie couple bought the place, fixed it up, and are renting. Their first renter lasted about a month. The owner told hubby he was going to raise the rent to bring in a more "high-end" renter. Three weeks ago, the new neighbors moved in. I had gone outside to get Molly's leash out of the car, carrying her, when they were in the front yard, so I carried Molly over to meet them. They have a basset hound named Molly! And a totally enormous pit-bull mix. And a five-month old adorable baby boy. The Mom and Dad were covered in tattoos. I thought, so what. (By the way, Twin A got a tattoo on her abdomen today, but that's another blog.)

I get up on workdays at 5 am and let "The Girls" out first thing. Guess what? My new neighbor is out that early smoking pot!!! The breakfast of champions!!! Gotta have a hot, nutritious breakfast! This is strange. Being a nurse practitioner, I don't like marijuana for the health risks. And besides, it's illegal. And I must say that I think it strange to smoke it so early in the day before you go off to your electrician's job. I smell it now as I type this at 9:15pm est. The poor baby! No wonder I never hear him cry. Second-hand marijuana smoke is also a danger, as are cigarettes. You never know what's gonna happen next around here! Stay tuned.

Tax Nightmare, Redux

2006-03-16T19:11:00.000-08:00

OH NO!!!! I think I forgot to send the W-2's!!!!!!!!

Taxes and French Fries

2006-03-14T17:07:00.001-08:00

Hello Again!

Just thought I'd share in the grief of taxtime. We're having a terrible time with taxes! Oh, not this year's. We already sent those in. We're having trouble with 2004's return! That was the first year we decided to do them online. We did, it was easy, no problem. We owed money; the twins outgrew the child tax credit. (We hate owing. We know that you should try and balance, but we would always rather get money back. Forced savings, so to speak, albeit interest-free). We paid over the phone, we have the receipt, so we think all's ok. Earlier this year we received a letter saying we owed another $5.??, so we sent that in. So here we skid into 2006, filed 2005's taxes and sleep well, for this year, we get money back! (Pays to give big-time to God!!) BUT NOOOOOOOO! 2004 still plagued us. Saturday, we received another letter telling us that we owed another $1642.34. Seems when we sent in a hard copy, Hubby forgot to place the twins' SSN's, so instead of someone merely looking them up in their mega computer where they've been known by a number, not a name since birth, they take away two deductions and bill us. I called them after work tonight and spoke with a nice man (see? IRS folks can be nice!) but he gave me misinformation by saying that since the twins were 17 throughout 2004, they would qualify for the child tax credit after all. So I start downloading forms and instructions - 12 pages worth. Then I read that the child should be under 17, not 18. Rats. All that work and time. So I call again and get a tax expert who goes through the numbers with me and ultimately says, yeah, you read right, UNDER 17. So we hang up and I start to domore paperwork to add the SSN's when it occurs to me: why not just fix this over the phone? So I call a third time. This time was Miss Pringle, the most awesome IRS worker ever. Enthusiastic and had it fixed in less than three minutes. And she has twins, too! I hope we're finally done with 2004.

Now, about those french fries. The last time I took Molly to the vet, I decided to placate her on the ride home with a small fry from BK. The BK near my vet's really has the lousiest food ever, but it's a beagle, so who cares, right? We received a bag of greasy, white, cold mush. Even Molly wouldn't eat them! Now I happen to know the Hardee's has crispy golden fries, so I decided to by and Molly and I would share. I showed the Hardee's staff the BK fries, told them Molly didn't want them, and they actually fried her a piece of bacon! Well, you can believe she ate that! And no fries. I guess she just doesn't like fries. Weird dog. Knowing that there would be no formal dinner tonight, I decided to stop by said Hardee's for some good fries. There was this tall, totally pale kid running the window. He moved ethereally slowly. Really, like he was undead. Kinda creepy. He also was cooking, so he lanked his way back to the window to tell me he was making fresh fries because the other batch was old. I told him how much I appreciated that, and I meant it! I love hot, crispy fries. Must've waited 5 minutes, the whole time watching him s-l-o-w-l-y move about the store. Pasty, lanky slowness. NOT one to date your daughter! He looked like the kind of guy who stands at the Haunted Mansion to greet you. Yeah, that's the perfect job for him! And he makes great fries.

A Lotta Stuff Happened! Or so it seems to me.....

2006-03-13T18:37:00.000-08:00

Hallllooooo!

Well, I finished the 5-days of heavy-dose prednisone. My last dose was yesterday. Did I tell you the nurse from the agency stuck me FIVE times and couldn't get a vein???? Geeze. My friend at work got me first stick. Now I'm having the water-weight gain thing. I wish I knew how to put pics on here.... I haven't looked this "full" since right after I had the twins! At least the fluid takes the wrinkles out of your face! I could pass for.......a few years younger!

But here's the really good part: my legs are feeling better!!!!! Yay!!! We just don't know how long this will last and how to handle future meds. I need to do more research.

My favorite aunt, from MD, just left today. She has been given 3 months to live. She is 58 years old and has cancer. Started about a year and a half ago with breast. She had surgery and chemo, then it showed up in tongue and neck lymph. Turns out she has an extremely aggressive type of squamous-cell neck cancer. She's going out on her own terms, though. I admire that. It sucks, though. She is the youngest of 7 children and unless some unforeseen even happenes, will be the first to go. Life is weird. Buckle up and pray. I am happy that my aunt is in Christ and I'll get to see her again someday. It's still hard to know she won't be around anymore. I'll miss her so much. She's wonderful.

Be warned: The following should not be read by people who are bored by computers, or who wince and moan at the thought of poeple using them who have pretty much no idea what they're doing.

Segue to adventures in computerland. I noticed that my 4 year-old comp was acting weird. First, it all seemed Windows related. I couldn't use Outlook Express. Then Word would only open in safe mode. The comp wouldn't shut down the way it was supposed to. Add to this, the hardware was making noise and I was getting ready to replace the fan, power or both. Yeah, I'll try anything with the directions. I figure if I can't fix it, someone else can! Not like I'm hurting a human, or anything. I actually installed a DVD burner in my first comp, and it worked! Thursday night, I booted up the comp. Windows 98 popped up. Where in the world did that come from?????? My comp was preloaded with XP!!! What a mess. I felt sure doom. I don't backup my comp routinely since we don't really do any business on it, but I went ahead and put stuff important to me and hubby on cd's. A wise move. So then I decided to actually erase XP and reinstall it from my handy CD from the company. First, the computer said XP was already gone. So, ok, I go to reinstall. I place the disc and it begins to work, then says it can't load a file. To retry, click enter. I did, nothing happened. To go on without installing this file, click esc. I did. Went to another file and the same thing. I began to write these files down for fun. I had columns of them when hubby walked up and asked what I was doing. I tried hitting the esc key as fast as Commander Data, and that many filed kept coming up unloadable. Dang! Decided to sleep on it.

Got up next day and decided to just go look at comps. Bought one. It's a Compaq Presario with an AMD AThlon 64 processor, 1.0 gig memory, and a 200 gig hard drive. I don't know what that all means really, except for me, this sucker flies!!! How fun. It has WIN XP media in it, was a good buy and I get $250 in rebates. That brought the price to about $500.00 Was I robbed? I was going to just buy the cpu since I had the periphs, but it was cheaper to take the junk, too. And now you'll why............

The very next morning I was enjoying my new comp on the nice 19" flat-screen LCD Viewsonic monitor (which I got in Oct.) when the monitor died. I called the company (in the USA!!! American tech support!!!) and I have to send it back, so now I'm using the crappy monitor that came with the comp. But at least I can see!!!! Dreamer told me her monitor is starting to go, so I'll give her this one when I get the other back.

Sorry about the changing font thing. Still learning blog stuff. I'm kinda tired of typing. Let's all get a good night's sleep!

Bye.

A Week in the Life

2006-03-05T17:39:00.000-08:00

Well, not too much has happened since last post. Girl-twin, formerly known as "Whiner," has been sick; a low-grade fever and fatigue for a month. So far, no diagnosis; not mono, anyway; definitely not pregnant. On top of being sick, she really got sick with bronchitis/sinusitis and is on a Z-Pak. She had blood and urine testing done last week, so we'll get those results tomorrow, I hope.

Boy-twin is leaving the middle management of fast food - excuse me, Quick Serve, for a receptionist position in a local orthopedists' office. Yes, after three long years at Chick-Fil-A, he will start making $1/hr more at the new position. He'll continue school toward a degree in Physical Therapy, so this new place fits right in. He should do fine after all that customer servicing. People at fast-food counters can be really nasty! My pleasure! He wanted to go midnight bowling last night, but I said no as he's been getting sick again this week, too. Coughing, nosebleeds, ugh. He was mad, and showed his maturity by coming home and A) not speaking to me, and B) working out since I wanted him home to get rest. My hubby says that teenagers' brains turn off when they turn 13, and if you're lucky, they might turn back on when they're 21. Guess we're still waiting!

My oldest daughter, Dreamer, is doing well, I think. She's way stressed out with this particular semester at college. Her hubby called all concerned (he's such a sweetie!) and we talked to her about quitting her part-time job, but she likes it, wants to contribute to the income, and gets to study while not busy. Ok. She's a big girl. The very next day, she called and said she may have the opportunity to take some master's level classes this summer; then after she graduates May '07, she'll have just one more year to complete her master's degree. Talk about stress! But as she said, and I quote, "You know I do school well." And yes, she does. She is a self-admitted nerd. She reads textbooks for fun. When she was young, I could never ground her to her room; it was too fine for her to curl up with a book. The twins, on the other hand, hate to read, Girl-twin more than Boy-twin. At least I can get him interested in a good Frank Peretti.

And now.......for Molly news! Molly went to the vet a week ago Friday for her "graduation" shots. She had a final ?distemper and a rabies vaccine. After the very-painful experience of the identi-chip placement, she had no problem remembering the vet (the most awesome ever) and literally wrapped her paws around my neck during the shots. Poor Pup. But she's done for a year! Yay, Molly! She and Honey are becoming better at the house-training thing. They're really good at ringing the bells at the door to be let out. Sometimes I think they do this when they're just bored. "Wow! She let us out again. We've really got her trained! She's doing so well!", they pant. And Molly smiles. I noticed that today. She was sleeping with me on the sofa, and her mouthline was straight. Girl-twin came up and pet her, she woke up, and the corners of her mouth went up into a definite curved smile! Let's see a fish do that!

As for me, I have a pretty annoying condition called CIDP (quick! Google it!) and will start a 5-day course of IV prednisone this Tuesday. I hope that's not long enought to make me blow up like a balloon. I don't think it will. But if it helps my stinking legs, it will be worth it! I'll write more about them another time. Right now, I think I want a shower and an early bedtime. Five o'clock comes early! Gotta get up early and drink much coffee before doing all those PAP smears!

Bye~~

more Mollyness

2006-02-20T17:05:00.000-08:00

Molly. What a stitch! If you're sick of dog stories, stop reading now. And go buy yourself a puppy, before your heart grows two sizes too small!
Actually, there's not a whole lot of Mollyness to write about. Just simple things she does that make me belly laugh. Last night, while talking to my 22 year-old married, in-college daughter (we'll call her Dreamer) Molly decided it would be fun/tasty/disgusting/annoying to try and insert her muzzle into my mouth while I was speaking. While some might find this tasteless (pun intended) I could only laugh since it was a new behavior and totally unprepared for. And I wasn't eating anything! The laughter only encouraged her, and I finally had to put her down to finish the conversation. Tonight, Molly is testing her boundaries (her ears just perked up - "What, I have boundaries? Ha!") by chewing all things forbidden. She has chewed up kleenex, a dryer sheet, my husband's shoe (only nibbled, no damage), my son's shoe (we'll name him at a later date, and rename Whiner, as she hath protested) and her blanket. Not to mention her chew stick and a pig's ear. "In a pig's ear!", you cry. "Allllriiiiiigggghhhhhttttt!!!!!", Molly replies. She dearly loves the porcine auricle.
And being a beagle, after being chastised, she comes up to you, places forepaws on your lap, wags her beagle-ey tail, looks up to you with those Maybelline eyes and seeks forgiveness. Or most likely, forgot why she was even yelled at in the first place and just wants to play. Honey the min-pin loves to cuddle, and will growl at Molly and even tell her, "You. Me. Outside now, hound-dog!" The minpins think they're full-size dobies, and no one forgot to tell them that they're only 1/10th the size (and an entirely different breed! Now, didn't I just burst your bubble?) Honey hates her lovin' interrupted. Which is amusing. Honey is so fickle as to cuddle Molly all night long in the crate. We cover it with a sheet, originally to keep the dogs from seeing out and whining til dawn. Now we just. don't. want. to know what they're doing all hours. And they call it Puppy Love!
OK. Also. They're doing so much better with the housetraining thing. Yessir, we adults be trained reel well by now! If we put them outside often enough, they will eventually make piles and puddles there instead of inside! What a concept! If only we could get the teenagers to buy into this idea. I guess they take longer to train. And you know what they say: Nothing ruins good parenting like teenagers. And this is not, of course, true of all teens. Surely not yours. Or mine. But somebody's! Else where did that bumper sticker come from?
So as if to prove a point, Honey is in my lap even as I type this and Molly approached only to get the growl-down from Miss Thang. Now Honey's head is on my right hand. I wish you could see the typos before I fix them. Now there's a beagle under my feet and my right forefinger and thumb are being licked to pieces. i m no loger abl 2 tyoopejrasnn
bye

Molly update, and other stuff

2006-02-18T18:29:00.000-08:00

Molly has recovered from my ill-fated attempt to provide routine hygiene, i.e. clip her nails. We left the pressure dressing on until this morning, since we got home late last night from a concert in the next town. Molly did not want me to do anything to her paw. She probably thought I was going to finish the job, remove the entire paw, and make a good-luck charm, like the ol' lucky rabbits' foot (lucky for everyone but the rabbit!). Once the bandage was off, she licked her foot for about 10 minutes, then got up and began to run around like the moron beagle puppy she is. I mean, she and Honey can really tear around the house, to the point of running full-speed into doors that are always closed. Not the brightest breed on the lot, but she sure is lovable! I also love the minpin, Honey, but she's actually Whiner's dog, so I remain a little detached. Someday, Whiner may take Honey when she moves out, so there you go.

Speaking of dogs, this is strange behavior: Honey will chew the side piece of the crate they sleep in at night. It's made of steel and is a piece that sticks out to latch the door. So strange! We have all manner of enticing chew-toys and bones, but she would rather munch out on this crate, the ironing board adjustment knob (also steel) and as of today, the corner of the brick fireplace (made of brick, strangely enough) Does anyone have any insight on this?

We went to see/hear Ernie Haase and Signature Sound; we first saw them last month at a Gaither Homecoming concert. They're an excellent men's gospel quartet, and if you like that kind of thing, I highly recommend them. Tight harmonies, and a little entertaining to watch as well.

On our way home, there was a fatal motorcycle wreck on the highway (there's a fatal wreck on this particular interstate all too frequently) so what should have been a 30 minute ride took an hour and 15 minutes. Could have been worse. Could have been an overturned semi with some type of difficult-to-clean-up stuff on board. We may have been there still!

While at the concert, Whiner called. She knew we were there, so I ignored the call. (By the way, our phones were already on silent. My biggest pet peeve in the world is people not putting their phones on silent, so that they ring at the most horrible times: during the saddest part of a movie, a concert, or *gasp*! communion!!!! I've observed this first-hand.) Then she called my husband's phone. He turned his off, too, but I went outside to call her back. She was spending the evening with my parents, and my Dad was very ill. Had a temp up to 104. He's already under hospice care so this was not good. Fortunately, it turned out to be an infection in his foot and he's much better today.

Tomorrow I have to get up early, go to church, put on a costume that inflates around me with a battery-operated fan, and be involved in a children's program. It truly is fun, but different! Kids love this stuff.

I gotta go to bed. Sorry this wasn't a funny post. Life isn't too funny sometimes.

Beagle blood

2006-02-16T18:00:00.000-08:00

Tonight, I almost killed Molly. At least that's how it felt. Molly is my almost-4-month-old beagle I got for a birthday/Christmas/anniversary/honey,i'msorryyourotherdogdied present. She is a delightful creature, and she almost died at my hands.

At her last checkup, I commented to the vet tech about how mildly Molly was taking her nail-clipping. My min-pin, Minuette, had always hated that and needed to be muzzled, no matter who was doing it or how much they tried to bribe her with canine cookies. Molly, being a beagle, adored her cookies and hardly noticed the nail clipping. The vet tech assured me that I could do this at home. "But what if I clip one too short, and it bleeds?" Not to worry, vet tech said. Just apply pressure. "I saw some stuff at the pet store to stop the bleeding. I could get some of that." Oh, no, vet tech said, just make a paste of flour and water; that'll work just as well. So tonight, after getting home from a long day of work, I took the brand-new and ever so sharp clippers and gingerly clipped Molly's forepaws (front feet). This went well! Wow, I thought, vet tech was right! This is a breeze! Even her duclaws were easy to do. Molly got just a little restless when I started on her hind paws (hind paws? back feet? the ones she jumps on when she scratches me with her forepaws, when they need trimming). The first nail and Molly moved. And she yelped. And bled. And because she knows that I'm a licensed medical professional, only for humans, she bled some more. I asked husband to make the flour-paste, but steady pressure stopped the bleeding. (Remember! All bleeding stops! Eventually. Don't think too much about that or you'll have trouble sleeping.) Needless to say, nail clipping was done for the night. Molly ran around with her slightly older sister, our new min-pin named Honey. And then she started to bleed again. Her blood taunted me, "Oh, sure, you know what to do when your patients come in bleeding! Let's see you fix this with hormones!!!" I applied pressure again, and made a paste of flour and water. Not only did this not work, but Honey began to eat the paste. Hey, maybe she won't crap all over the floor for a few days!!!! Molly kept bleeding, looking up at me with those soulful, beagle eyes. I tried pressure for several more minutes, and the bleeding stopped. I was picturing a looong bath (since I now looked like "Blood Beach" had been filmed all over my lap, floor, and couch cover) and Girl Scout cookies!!!! But noooooo! The blood started again!!!! I woke my husband (it was only 7:40, but it's the Olympics, and he took the gold for "sleeps anytime") and we bundled up Molly and took her to the new emergency vet clinic near our house. Note the descriptive, "new." The vet, who didn't even introduce himself, used a silver nitrate stick to stop the bleeding, said this happens all the time, and she should have stopped bleeding at home after five minutes. Duh! After saying this, Molly started bleeding again. He took a closer look and said, "Oh, this is down to the bone!" The bone!!! I cut my puppy's toenail to the bone!!!! I am an unfit mother!!! I teared up. My husband was trying to be reassuring by telling me that she would be fine and wasn't dead. Maybe that soulful look on Molly's face was really saying, "Do I HAVE to go home with HER again?" The vet applied pressure dressing and pretty pink tape. Molly also has an elizabethan collar to keep her from chewing off the dressing. The bill?
emergency exam before 11pm 78.76
bandage minor 31.50
elizabethan collar 21.00
Do the math.........$131.26!!! Wonder how many nail clippings I could have had done at PetSmart for that price? You can bet we're gonna find out!

exercise sucks! and designer vaginas!!!

2006-02-15T17:18:00.000-08:00

Another day, another blog. I bought a yoga mat at Wal-Mart. We have terrazzo throughout our entire house, and until we became the proud parents of two puppies at Christmastime (a min-pin and a beagle) we had cheap rugs in the living room and FL room. We took them out since prior pets (especially an evil cat or two) had stained them. I decided not to replace them with new puppies coming in. Plus, I have asthma and carpets aren't good for that.

Back to the yoga mat. In rare times past when I've done crunches or any floor exercises, the carpet was fine, except for coming up with enough animal hair to create another kitten. Since the holidays, I put on a few pounds (who didn't? if not you, just hush. Nobody likes a show-off) and decided to do some light exercise in the living room (note to others: forget John Basedow, unless you own a gym). So I bought the mat. Well, I can tell you 50 crunches later that a yoga mat is about as good as a paper towel on these hard floors. I need one of those mats the kids lie on in kindergarten! Minus the snot and germs. I would need to sew two together to make up for height.

And what price beauty, anyway? I just saw on the news today that there is a surgeon creating designer vaginas now! No, I just can't tone up my belly flab with some crunches and a few less calories. I gotta get liposuctioned, tummy tucked, face lifted, lips plumped (as if mine need it - "I was fat-lipped, when fat-lipped wasn't cool"), boobs done, veins lasered, and now - I'm supposed to deliberately let someone - no, PAY someone - to make my vagina like a virgins'? I'll digress to virginity in the next paragraph. NO WAY am I doing any of that. Guess what, everybody? We're going to get old!!!! We're going to die!!!! Nothing will stop those two processes. Well, you could die, like, tomorrow, and then you wouldn't grow old. er. And have you seen Joan Rivers lately? Please, stay away from her plastic surgeon!!!! And get her into rehab! Poor Melissa.

Back to virginity. So this vaginal surgery is supposed to make you a virgin again. I got news for ya. Ain't gonna happen. Virginity is more a state of mind than scalpel. So a prostitute who's had, say, 500 "clients" (and I use the term kindly) has this surgery, and she's all pure, virginal, and schoolgirl innocent? Not that schoolgirls are so innocent anymore, but you know what I mean. Nah. The body will always carry evidence ("Follow the evidence!"). It's the soul that can be made brand-new. Been there. Had it done. The soul-washing, not the 500 clients. God can make the prostitute white as snow, but the surgeon can't. The soul lives forever, the body doesn't.

My. I must have ADD! All this deep thought from a yoga mat.

Sleep well.

Blog Initiation

2006-02-12T11:08:00.000-08:00

OK, Hello!

This is my first public blog, I guess, not counting Livejournal. But that's a journal. This is a blog. Get it? I'm not sure I do.

I'm not even sure if I have anything worth reading. Time will tell. And I have no idea how often my muse will visit and prompt me to do this. You may be reading an "only" blog. How sad would that be? Don't answer, please.

Anyway, here's my so-far story: I am a registered nurse, advanced practice. I work in a clinic. I have been happily married for 26 years. To the same man! Now, that's rare, huh? I have three kids. Their father is my husband!!! More rareness!! They're all in college. Can you spell b-r-o-k-e? My children exist to remind me that I am lame. So I guess I'm normal. Most importantly, I identify myself as one in Christ.

But I spent this morning not in church, but at a local walk-in clinic. My 18 year-old daughter, the one who most reminds me of my lamenesstocity (a word her brother coined) has had a low-grade fever for 11 days. I can't treat her, since she's not my patient. And besides, there's that "A doctor who treats himself has a fool for a patient" caveat, even though I'm not a doctor. So we sat in the lobby for an hour and forty minutes, listening to nasty coughs and a mother who controlled her 15 month old daughter by saying, when she wandered away, "Destiny! I'm leaving! Bye!," causing the little girl to toddle back to mama. Three times I heard this! I did take the opportunity to whisper to the child at one visit, "Your mother is a jerk!" Even my daughter laughed. But we were hard up for humor.

After we finally saw the doc, she checked Whiner's ears and throat and said she looked fine, but might have mono. We have to wait til tomorrow for blood work. Tune in tomorrow (or three to five days from now) for the exciting conclusion!!!

So we bought two pizzas from the restaurant where she works on the way home and had a bacchanalian feast. Yay, margherita pizza! Yay that my husband and son don't like it so there's more for Whiner and me!!!

Catch you later, if you're there.